Just in case you think it's a bunch of hullabaloo that unwed mothers (and fathers) are made to feel negatively about their situations, take a look at this mess coming out of Colorado. That's right. You read that right. A lawmaker called unmarried, pregnant teenagers (and the fathers) "sluts." Pick your jaw up off the floor.

Representative Larry Liston laid it all on the line with the following comments.

"In my parents' day and age, (unmarried teen parents) were sent away, they were shunned, they were called what they are," Colorado Springs Republican Rep. Larry Liston said during the meeting in Denver. "There was at least a sense of shame."

"I think it's wrong. They're sluts. And I don't mean just the women. I mean the men, too," Liston added.

Not only is Liston calling men and women sluts but he's basically saying that he'd like to see a return of the "good ole days" when mothers were shipped off and babies were given to adoptive parents. You know, because the closed adoption era did so much good by birth mothers and adoptees. (Heavy sarcasm in the previous sentence for those unfamiliar with my beliefs.)

I've heard before that today's society is more accepting of single mothers (and fathers) and, as such, today's unplanned pregnancies don't have to deal with society's judgments as a reason behind placement. This, right here, is further proof that just isn't the case. There are still highly judgmental people in positions of power who have no problem telling mothers and fathers what they think. As much as we want society to be more accepting of all family types, young and unwed parents are often put in a defamatory category and have a hard time climbing their way out. They are guilty until proven innocent, meaning that they are subpar parents until they prove otherwise.

Of course, Liston tried to apologize. I say try because he failed miserably.

"The derogatory term I used was offensive and inappropriate and I would like to apologize for using it," he said in a news release. "Because of my unfortunate choice of language, the message that I was trying to get across about personal responsibility, and parental responsibility, has been overshadowed. I certainly regret using the term I did."

Okay, apologizing doesn't really get you too far on this issue. The man still said that he would like to shame pregnant teens and send them off to homes to give away their babies. How is that improving the situations at hand? Ask the mothers of the Baby Scoop era if their shame helped them at all. Ask the children of the Baby Scoop era how they feel about how their biological parents were treated and how that negativity has had an effect on their relationship. And, of course, ask a birth mother in a present day open adoption whether or not she feels any shame about her situation, whether it's specifically about getting pregnant or about the placement or about her role as a birth mother and I'm sure you'll find more than one.

Of course, it's all brought home by this little addition:

Liston told the newpaper later he could have chosen his words better but believes many people feel the way he does.

Yes, Liston. I know. I was a young, unwed mother. However, I would have been an amazing parent to my child. But thanks to people with attitudes like yours, I was led to believe that since I didn't have fancy baby things or a huge house that I had nothing to offer my child. Thanks to attitudes and beliefs like yours, mothers are traumatized day in and day out. It's sad. It's wrong. And it's really kind of old.

Thankfully, Liston isn't my representative. Is he yours? Contact him with your thoughts on his judgments of young parents and his skewed reality of adoption.

Telephone at the Capitol: 303-866-2965
Email address: larry.liston.house@state.co.us
Snail Mail Address: LARRY LISTON
Colorado State Representative, District 16
Office Location: 200 E. Colfax
Denver, CO 80203
Capitol Phone: 303-866-2965

Remember, your voice can make a difference! Speak up, speak out and be heard!

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