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I wrote, just yesterday, about the importance of patience and how we act while waiting. I found another quote that I think really hits some adoption topics head-on regarding the type of patience we need to possess.
“Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow – that is patience.”
I nodded my head. I’ve been there, done that and have the t-shirt to prove it. Okay, well, maybe I don’t have the t-shirt. Do they make one? Should I create one? Would it sell well? I bet it would.
Because many in the adoption world deal with “slow going” at various times. Birth parents, of course, are not exempt from this waiting game. Waiting to hear back from your adult child after contact has been initiated. Waiting for contact to be initiated. Waiting for contact from the adoptive family after it has been a long time. Waiting in between visits. The list goes on.
And it’s not always “easy” waiting either. Sometimes it is fraught with tension, either personally initiated or between parties. Unresolved issues have a way of festering as days continue to pass. Anger can bubble up and self-doubt can be brought to the surface. I think something important to remember is that the wave of varying emotions is not unique to waiting in adoption related issues. Those are things that extend well beyond adoption and into everything else in life that we wait for, whether we have yet had to experience another form of waiting yet or not. Other have. And it’s all very similar.
So, remember, you’re never alone while waiting it out. It may feel like it. Perhaps you don’t know, in person, another soul who is waiting on the same thing that you are at the time. But the majority of people have had to wait for something very important in their lives before and, if you give them the chance, it’s possible that they may be able to empathize with you. Are you willing to give them that chance?
I think about it as “just keeping on putting one foot in front of the other”