As I've been talking about, I've met most of my birthmom friends via some form of the internet. I've also made friends in various positions of the triad, which I'll talk about next. But I need to take a quick "pity" stop on this thought journey. No, not a pit stop. A pity stop. I'm about to throw a pity party. Did you bring the confetti?

Making friends online is sometimes safer than making friends in real life. When something goes wrong and you get rejected and/or dumped, you don't have to see the person, face to face. The flip side of that is: when you're hurting someone, you don't have to look into their eyes.

I'm bummed today.

While bebopping around the forums yesterday, I found someone who lived within close proximity to me. We exchanged stories, laughed about how close our lives were in relation to places we had lived and then it happened. What happened?

The question I dread.

I don't usually experience this on the forums. It's usually in chat or other parenting forums. Someone will say, "Are you in the process of adopting?" Sigh. "No, I'm a birthmom." While some will continue to conversation from that point, sometimes offending without meaning to, there have been times when I've been left high and dry. Not another word. I've had people leave the chat room. I don't really get this thought process. I'm not scary. I'm actually quite petite. I don't have any communicable diseases, especially considering I think it's pretty hard to send something through my internet connection.

It leaves me to wonder. Do these people find me so appalling that they can't even stand to talk to me? Be "around me? Associate with a sinner like me? And we wonder why my self-esteem is lacking. Sigh.

Anwyay, obviously, or I wouldn't be talking about it, this happened yesterday. As I said, it doesn't usually happen on the forums. My signature is pretty self-explanatory as to who I am. It says not once, but twice, that I am a firstmother. So I was quite surprised after three or four messages had been exchanged to suddenly find myself ... dumped. Bummer.

I wonder if it would have been different if I had said, "No, my Husband and I have not adopted yet." Or, "We don't know how we are expanding our family next." Would I have garnered more respect? Does admitting that one is a birthparent automatically send you to the bottom of the list of people to associate with in public or in private?

It's frustrating at times. But I keep on keeping on. I'm done whining. For now. ;)

Next I'll talk about friendships I've made with other triad members.

Photograph from images.com.