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One of my dear husband’s most cherished comments is when he tells me that I make his heart happy. He tells me that often and I know that he means it. In honor of Valentine’s Day, I will share what makes my heart happy in the world of adoption.
1. It makes me happy when someone tells me that something I have written touches them. When I hear from others that my words have written opened their heart or mind, taught them something, comforted them or made them feel understood, my heart is happy.
2. When the son I did not raise takes the time and makes the effort to call me, send me an email or comes for a visit, my heart is EXTRA happy.
3. When a capable young woman desperate to keep her baby, short on self-esteeem, but getting no encouragement from those around her, feels empowered by me or another birth mom and decides to parent her child, my heart is happy.
4. When I spend time with the son I did not raise, lazily chatting, sharing with each other and building a relationship, brick by brick, my heart is happy.
5. When I hear and see the absolute joy on an adoptee or birth mom’s face when they find each other after decades apart, my heart is happy.
6. When I feel understood, acknowledged and heard instead of being minimized and dismissed, my heart is happy.
7. When I learn, share and get to know other triad members and feel empathy and a sisterhood with them, my heart is happy.
8. When I hear about two strong mothers reuniting in an open adoption for the sake of their child, my heart is happy.
9. When an adoptee tells me that both families matter to them, my heart is happy.
10. When I hear about a family or community joining together to support a young mother who needs support to parent her child, my heart is happy.
Happy Valentine’s Day Bloggers and Readers! Have the best day ever.
You always write things that move and teach me, Jan. Happy Valentine’s Day.
Thanks Jenna, I feel the same way about your writing too. Happy
Valentine’s Day!
I am a birthmother reuniting with my 25-year old daughter on saturday february 17. I am sooooo nervous. What started out as an open adoption changed very quickly. The same story, I was young single scared alone. They were married, successful middle aged (35 ha ha). I am 46, she is 25. THEY NEVER TOLD HER SHE WAS ADOPTED. SHE FOUND OUT IN OCTOBER WHEN A “SEARCH ANGEL” was in contact with her. SHE IS BEAUTIFUL AND WE LOOK ALIKE!!!!! Can you offer any help, I don’t want to do anything wrong. We have been communicating through email, telephone and text messaging for about two months. I especially like what you said about both families mattering. She says he “hates” noone. She is a wonderful person and young person. I don’t want to goof things up.
Linda, I just noticed your comment, send me your email if you would like and I can offer some suggestions. Also try this link. http://birthfamily-search.adoptionblogs.com/?cat=529 and look under reunion.
Karen Sterner and I co-blog about search and reunion, and have written many blogs with reunion tips. If you are like most of us, you will stumble at times during reunion. Expect that you will, but know that is okay.