Titles in First Families: The Others

While I’ve hit on biological grandparents, spouses and siblings to the placed child, there are a few other groups of people in the first family circle that might pose a titling issue. Of course, as every family unit is different, some of these might not apply and there might be some others that I haven’t mentioned (or thought of!).

1. Siblings to the Biological Parents, aka, Aunts and Uncles. I’ve seen this particular issue get a little hairy from time to time. In those cases, it was based on the age of the biological aunts and uncles, which was in close proximity to the age of the placed child. No one wants to confuse children and some might feel that having an aunt or uncle only a few years older than you (or, in some cases, younger) could, in fact, be confusing. However, generations overlap in many families. My mother’s aunt (her dad’s sister) is only five yeras older while I am then five months older than the aunt’s child who is actually my mom’s cousin, thus making him my first-cousin, once removed. He refers to her as Aunt B while we refer to one another as cousins. My brother’s fiancee is actually a full year older than her niece because of a rather large overlap in the generations. Now that you know about my strange family generations, I simply encourage families to seek out what will work best for them in this situation. My brother, now a legal adult, doesn’t really consider himself to be Munchkin’s uncle. Then again, he really has a hard time comprehending that he’s an uncle to Nicholas as well! Age can be an issue so be sure to have conversations about why siblings may be uncomfortable with certain titles.

2. Nieces and Nephews of the Birth Parents, aka, Cousins of the Placed Child. While cousins can vary greatly in years (see above for confusing family generations!), they are sometimes close in age. Quite frankly, I find this particular topic to be less confusing when it comes to titles because of the fact that most cousins are not usually raised in the same household, under the same roof. Therefore it would not be strange to have a cousin that you only saw once a year.

3. Any Other Various Relative. If your family is like mine, it sprawls vast and wide with aunts, uncles, cousins, great-grandparents (the list goes on) and they are probably spread across the United States if not all over the world. While we’re not all frequently in the same place at the same time, we do often find ourselves congregating together to celebrate certain things. At my wedding, for example, my paternal uncles met the Munchkin’s family for the first time. While their encounters were brief, there is always a possibility of future meetings. Should the Munchkin want a title for these people, I’m not particularly sure what I would say. (Great-birth-uncle? What?) When it comes down to the nitty-gritty of various relatives, I’m often tempted to go with a first name basis. However, I might also discuss it with the Munchkin’s parents as well as the relative in question to see what their comfort level is and if they have any other creative ideas as to naming and titling.

All in all, when it comes to families, there is no set way to title anyone. All of our families look and react differently. That’s what makes us unique! However, when you share the titles that your family is using for x-family member, you may help another family figure out what to do with someone that is stumping them, so, please, feel free to share you favorite titles!

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For more on titles in first families, read:

1. Titles in First Families: Siblings.

2. Titles in First Families: Husbands and Wives. (See also the forum discussion: Titles for Husbands/Wives.)

3. Titles in First Families: Grandparents.

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