Comments on: Titles in First Families: Grandparents http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/titles-in-first-families-grandparents A blog for and about parents who have placed a child for adoption. Tue, 02 Feb 2010 22:23:05 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: mariah http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/titles-in-first-families-grandparents/comment-page-1#comment-1383 mariah Thu, 23 Aug 2007 22:27:32 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/08/21/titles-in-first-families-grandparents#comment-1383 All I know is that my DD's 25 year-old stepson-to-be (she's 28!) is NOT going to call me 'Grama!' I'm not old enough yet for that!!!As he has a terrific sense of humor, I'm sure he'll come up with something good. All I know is that my DD’s 25 year-old stepson-to-be (she’s 28!) is NOT going to call me ‘Grama!’ I’m not old enough yet for that!!!As he has a terrific sense of humor, I’m sure he’ll come up with something good.

]]> By: John http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/titles-in-first-families-grandparents/comment-page-1#comment-1382 John Wed, 22 Aug 2007 04:07:12 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/08/21/titles-in-first-families-grandparents#comment-1382 The boys call their biological grandparents grandma and grandpa when they are talking to them. If it is the boys talking with me, its Grandma Smith, or Grandpa Jones. Works well and no one gets confused. John The boys call their biological grandparents grandma and grandpa when they are talking to them. If it is the boys talking with me, its Grandma Smith, or Grandpa Jones. Works well and no one gets confused. John

]]> By: KatjaMichelle http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/titles-in-first-families-grandparents/comment-page-1#comment-1381 KatjaMichelle Wed, 22 Aug 2007 01:23:09 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/08/21/titles-in-first-families-grandparents#comment-1381 at first my parents addressed gifts and such as being from their first names. They always acknowledge they are grandparents but didn't want to give themselves that title on gifts out of respect for the other grandparents involved. This has changed J (a-dad) just flat out told me to tell them to address things from grandma first name and grandpa first name just like all M's other grandparents do. They are now thrilled that they get to write from grandma and grandpa on things to him. at first my parents addressed gifts and such as being from their first names. They always acknowledge they are grandparents but didn’t want to give themselves that title on gifts out of respect for the other grandparents involved. This has changed J (a-dad) just flat out told me to tell them to address things from grandma first name and grandpa first name just like all M’s other grandparents do. They are now thrilled that they get to write from grandma and grandpa on things to him.

]]> By: scarlet moon 13 http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/titles-in-first-families-grandparents/comment-page-1#comment-1380 scarlet moon 13 Wed, 22 Aug 2007 00:46:32 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/08/21/titles-in-first-families-grandparents#comment-1380 There are intact bio families, with grandparents on both sides.<br /> <br /> There are intact adoptive families with grandparents on both sides.<br /> <br /> There are step grandparents, ex grand parents, the older couple who live next door who everyone calls grandma and grandpa.<br /> <br /> To small children, old people are grandma's and grandpa's.<br /> <br /> To small children any woman who doesn't look like a little kid must be a mommy, someones mommy.<br /> <br /> Sometimes everyone just gets to worried about who and what.<br /> <br /> My kids had at one time had, bio grandparents, step grandparents,and 2 sets of great-grandparents, and the lady next door.<br /> <br /> lets see, my mom and her hubby,<br /> my bio dad and his wife,<br /> my step/adad <br /> my hubbies parents <br /> my grandparents on both sides<br /> <br /> so that makes 11 grandparents of varying age and positon in thier family, plus the lady next door ups it to 12. With lots of love.<br /> <br /> in an adoptive family, what's two or four more? that is if they can all get along of course. There are intact bio families, with grandparents on both sides.

There are intact adoptive families with grandparents on both sides.

There are step grandparents, ex grand parents, the older couple who live next door who everyone calls grandma and grandpa.

To small children, old people are grandma’s and grandpa’s.

To small children any woman who doesn’t look like a little kid must be a mommy, someones mommy.

Sometimes everyone just gets to worried about who and what.

My kids had at one time had, bio grandparents, step grandparents,and 2 sets of great-grandparents, and the lady next door.

lets see, my mom and her hubby,
my bio dad and his wife,
my step/adad
my hubbies parents
my grandparents on both sides

so that makes 11 grandparents of varying age and positon in thier family, plus the lady next door ups it to 12. With lots of love.

in an adoptive family, what’s two or four more? that is if they can all get along of course.

]]> By: erin_d_a http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/titles-in-first-families-grandparents/comment-page-1#comment-1379 erin_d_a Wed, 22 Aug 2007 00:22:02 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/08/21/titles-in-first-families-grandparents#comment-1379 I hope someday that the bees grandparents want to be called anything by her. For now they will be Mr and Mrs "d" They don't want to accept their daughters open adoption nor the role that they could have in the bees life as grandparents. I hope someday that the bees grandparents want to be called anything by her. For now they will be Mr and Mrs “d” They don’t want to accept their daughters open adoption nor the role that they could have in the bees life as grandparents.

]]> By: soblessed http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/titles-in-first-families-grandparents/comment-page-1#comment-1378 soblessed Tue, 21 Aug 2007 22:50:30 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/08/21/titles-in-first-families-grandparents#comment-1378 We called my step-grandmother, whose name was Nancy, Grand-Nan. I sure do miss my Grand-Nan :) We called my step-grandmother, whose name was Nancy, Grand-Nan. I sure do miss my Grand-Nan :)

]]> By: Deb Donatti http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/titles-in-first-families-grandparents/comment-page-1#comment-1377 Deb Donatti Tue, 21 Aug 2007 20:32:50 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/08/21/titles-in-first-families-grandparents#comment-1377 My kids Bio-grandparents are just called Grandma or Grandpa, with exception of middle daughter's Great Grandma & she is "Granny "(with her name that rhymes with Granny) My kids Bio-grandparents are just called Grandma or Grandpa, with exception of middle daughter’s Great Grandma & she is “Granny “(with her name that rhymes with Granny)

]]> By: Jenna Hatfield http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/titles-in-first-families-grandparents/comment-page-1#comment-1376 Jenna Hatfield Tue, 21 Aug 2007 18:38:49 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/08/21/titles-in-first-families-grandparents#comment-1376 Sandra; I love that someone else uses Yia Yia. Nicholas actually randomly came up with it himself and then we learned that it's Greek for Grandma. Mom loves it. (I love it too, really...!) I have a personal issue in my own family because my own (paternal) grandfather is "Papau" so I "feel" that my Dad should also be Papau, not Josh's Dad. But he's also Papau. I deal, obviously. :)<br /> <br /> HeatherS; I know my own parents also have some issue with their "first" grandchild not being raised in/around their home. It's been hard for them at times.<br /> <br /> Lisa; kids are great with the naming, aren't they? :) Sandra; I love that someone else uses Yia Yia. Nicholas actually randomly came up with it himself and then we learned that it’s Greek for Grandma. Mom loves it. (I love it too, really…!) I have a personal issue in my own family because my own (paternal) grandfather is “Papau” so I “feel” that my Dad should also be Papau, not Josh’s Dad. But he’s also Papau. I deal, obviously. :)

HeatherS; I know my own parents also have some issue with their “first” grandchild not being raised in/around their home. It’s been hard for them at times.

Lisa; kids are great with the naming, aren’t they? :)

]]> By: Sandra Hanks Benoiton http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/titles-in-first-families-grandparents/comment-page-1#comment-1375 Sandra Hanks Benoiton Tue, 21 Aug 2007 17:46:04 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/08/21/titles-in-first-families-grandparents#comment-1375 Kids in my family use Yia Yia, Ha Ha, Grandma "Put name here", Gran, Nanny, Maman, and more, some referring to stepgrandparents or grandparents of cousins, step-relatives and half-relatives who aren't really grandparents at all to the kids doing the calling.<br /> <br /> In a family as convoluted as mine is, we've chosen to be pretty cavalier about this category of title.<br /> <br /> My granddaughter calls her greatgrandmother 'Grandma", her paternal grandmother "Nana" and me "Grammy" ... I'm the one that wanted her thinking there was an awards show named after me for at least a couple of years. Kids in my family use Yia Yia, Ha Ha, Grandma “Put name here”, Gran, Nanny, Maman, and more, some referring to stepgrandparents or grandparents of cousins, step-relatives and half-relatives who aren’t really grandparents at all to the kids doing the calling.

In a family as convoluted as mine is, we’ve chosen to be pretty cavalier about this category of title.

My granddaughter calls her greatgrandmother ‘Grandma”, her paternal grandmother “Nana” and me “Grammy” … I’m the one that wanted her thinking there was an awards show named after me for at least a couple of years.

]]> By: Heather http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/titles-in-first-families-grandparents/comment-page-1#comment-1374 Heather Tue, 21 Aug 2007 17:24:25 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/08/21/titles-in-first-families-grandparents#comment-1374 We left the naming up to the grandparents, letting them know we were fine with what ever they chose (yes, even "grandma" and "grandpa"). We actually just revisited the question with our child's first dad's parents earlier this month. They asked to be called by their first names.<br /> <br /> His first mom's parents haven't settled yet on names. I think they're still feeling their way through the options. Sometimes they refer to themselves as birth-grandparents, sometimes grandparents, sometimes by first names.<br /> <br /> One of the grandmas shared that, for her, the naming question is tangled up in her ongoing processing of the fact that her first grandchild isn't "her" first grandchild in the way she always imagined. I think the name she chooses represents the role she sees herself having in his life, and she's still working that out in her own mind. Like every other naming process in adoption, it can be a terribly emotional issue. We left the naming up to the grandparents, letting them know we were fine with what ever they chose (yes, even “grandma” and “grandpa”). We actually just revisited the question with our child’s first dad’s parents earlier this month. They asked to be called by their first names.

His first mom’s parents haven’t settled yet on names. I think they’re still feeling their way through the options. Sometimes they refer to themselves as birth-grandparents, sometimes grandparents, sometimes by first names.

One of the grandmas shared that, for her, the naming question is tangled up in her ongoing processing of the fact that her first grandchild isn’t “her” first grandchild in the way she always imagined. I think the name she chooses represents the role she sees herself having in his life, and she’s still working that out in her own mind. Like every other naming process in adoption, it can be a terribly emotional issue.

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