Losing a son to adoption creates a deep numbing pain.

Rambling Birth Dad

If you have read my posts for long, you know that I do believe that many birth fathers have felt their loss deeply. Many birth fathers have intense regrets about losing their children and rejoice in their reunions. This post called
"I am a Person" describes in a very simple, yet moving way how losing a son to adoption has affected one birth father's life.

There is a great deal of food for thought in this particular post and several of his other posts as well. Men are often programmed to be strong and not show their emotions. Yet, birth fathers are beginning to show their real feelings about their lost children.

Some birth fathers come into a reunion not even being aware of a lost child. Yet often they are able to embrace their child and begin to form a lasting relationship with them. It cannot be easy; that much is clear.

As Father's Day approaches, I hope you remember birth fathers this year and have some compassion for their situation. Some birth fathers may not seem deserving of understanding, but I believe that most birth fathers care about their children.

The situation that caused an adoption may often have been affected by how a birth father dealt with an unplanned pregnancy. Some fled at the news, too afraid to face the responsiblity. However, others stepped up to the plate ready to parent and yet, the baby's mother might have not been ready or willing to do so.

As much as many of us keep trying to fit people into neat boxes, that does not work. Some birth fathers are loving and caring men and deeply regret circumstances which caused the adoption of their child. Other birth dads are not so nice. The rest are somewhere in between - not the worst or best. However, many birth fathers are warm, loving and extraordinary men.


Further Reading:

What About Birth Dads?

Involving the Father, a Benefit to All

But I Remember How he Feels.

Photo by Jan Baker 2005