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My friend Sandra cautioned us bloggers recently against wasting our time dissecting the latest Brangelina adoption here and here. She mentioned that despite all we read that we really do not know Angelina and therefore should just leave her alone (or words to that effect). In so many words she told us to mind our own business. Sorry, this latest story was just too much to resist.
Isn’t adoption our business in a way? If you as an adoptive parent want to promote adoption, doesn’t all the Angelina adoption hype make adoption look bad? Doesn’t it bother adoptive parents that the Angelinas of the world make it appear that with enough money you do not need to follow the rules in adoption? Or, that anyone can adopt if they are rich enough?
Honestly, I am surprised that it doesn’t make more adoptive parents squirm and feel uncomfortable. This is her third adoption. As far as I can tell, only one of her three adoptions so far has not involved some questionable practices. I believe the first adoption has no hint of any improprieties. Does anyone believe that it is all hype, and that there is no basis for any of the negativity? Is it all because Ms. Jolie is being picked on by the press?
One interesting fact occurred to me recently that I have been pondering. Angelina Jolie has a fairly checkered past and yet I see few people who question her parenting abilities. I know some of the press hype about her may not be factual, but there is probably some basis for much of it. Maybe unlike some birth parents, she was able to get her act together and all is forgiven?
When birth parents have drug and alcohol issues, does anyone question their ability to parent later on even when it appears that they have their issues under control? Maybe Angelina deserves praise for having conquered her demons when so many other women seem unable to do so? I really don’t know. However, I have to admit, I still remember stories of the past about her and wonder. Am I being unforgiving?
Her charitable work is commendable. I do not question that. However, is she really the image that people who love adoption want to present to the world? I really had intended to pass on discussing Angelina’s latest adoption….but, I find it fascinating that more adoptive moms are not thoroughly hating the bad publicity that she creates.
Just to be clear, it is not that I am against her promoting adoption. That is not the issue for me. It is that as a birth parent, her “fast-tracking” adoption promotes the idea that it is acceptable, that ethics does not matter in adoption. I abhor that notion, along with the idea that if you are wealthy enough, you can adopt, no matter what.
Okay. First, I wasn’t addressing bloggers. Heck! We live for fodder. I was cautioning people who should have better things to do than spend too much time and energy on celeb adoptions.
Second, my point was that the general public has no real information about these adoptions, so end up reacting to puff and fluff, not truth.
Third, what of this puff and fluff should have adoptive parents squirming? We’re not talking fact here, just rumor and loosly formed opinions. That should bother us? No more than bad mouthing anyone should, I would think. Trashing is trashing, and it has nothing to do with me.
Forth, if you’re insinuating that drugs and alcohol are factors … well …
One more time …
Unless one has a personal connection, one knows NOTHING about these people even if you do read People Magazine … nothing about their lives, their problems, or their adoptions.
And no matter how much people want to know, it is not the responsibility of celebs to set anyone’s mind at ease. Just because they’re in the movies does not mean the public owns them or any part of their live in any way.
Even from what I read about her (positive and negative buzz), I do admire her a lot. She is 32, has a busy career and now juggling 4 kids. With all those money and being a celebrity, many of her peers would be living the pampered life, hitting the party circuit, doing drugs, alcohol, sleeping around with other celebrities and just being a diva. Who in her right mind would be visiting disease ravaged places, seeing people dying of malnutrition or civil war, going to dirty flea infested areas without proper toilets while still thinking about a global cause? She might be getting bad presses but she gets my vote and support if compared to all those desperate celebrity housewives…
Well Jan, it seems that we are in the minority. I have actually been forbidden from posting messages on one of the groups I belong to because I previously said that she lied about her Vietnamese adoption. In November, when speculation arose that she was adopting, she denied that they were in the process and that they had any plans. Now it comes out that they actually filed papers in November. Shame, shame. I would think that she would want to keep her face as clean as possible after the controversy surrounding both of her previous adoptions. If you read what folks say on the net, especially those who have no interest in adoption, her actions do cast international adoption in particular in a very bad light.
For all those who praise Angelina Jolie as a wonderful, compasionate, intelligent person who is a great, caring, loving mother, jada jada jada. You are also reading this in magazines. You do not know her personally and everything you THINK you know about her is derived from the gossip magazines.
Do I think she is a horrible person? Heck, I have no idea! I don’t know her. All I know is what she has admitted herself, not speculated by the press. She herself admitted to a wild past. She mentioned stuff like alcohol and cutting. It does seem like she has changed but still none of us know her personally. If she does good in the world, then great. But there are thousands of people who do not have her income who does a lot more.
I would be glad if I could open a magazine without having a bunch of celebs staring back at me. In fact, the only magazines I do buy are craft magazines where I don’t read about any of the celeb nonsense. They have value for me in only one area – when I go to the movies. When I walk out of there I don’t care who the characters are at home.
Veronika,
Why in the world should she be expected to divulge her plans to anyone, especially the press? If she had, that poor child could have been hounded for months, and the orphanage as well. Can you imagine the lengths the tabloids would have gone through to get scoop? These are not nice people, the trash that make a living as parasites, and they certainly would not have had the welfare of a child at heart.
Heck, I know people that don’t tell members of their own families about adoption plans until just before travel!
Her work in developing countries is documented outside the tabloids, so although one can’t know about her, you can see for yourself what her efforts are accomplishing.
People Magazine is one of the few sources that will get the truth out there on behalf of Angelina. The rest of those other magazines are just trash that search for dirt and untruths that perpetuates their business and sells magazines. Here is the statement from http://www.People.com in regards to Angelina’s adoption:
On Friday Adoptions From The Heart, the U.S.-based agency that helped Jolie with this adoption, released a statement saying that the actress had not received any special treatment.
“Throughout Ms. Jolie’s adoption process, she received no preferential treatment from the Vietnamese government or Adoptions From The Heart, and, contrary to earlier reports, her application was not fast-tracked,” said the program’s adoption coordinator, Heidi Gonzalez.
Added Gonzalez: “As we do with all of our clients, Adoptions From The Heart celebrates the miracle of adoption, and wishes the Jolie-Pitt family much joy.
Hi Sandra:
I do not think we are forbidden to have good common sense.
Yes, we are allowed to wonder how someone who appearently was rather wild, managed to get their act together, there are children involved here.
We are also allowed to wonder how she is able to do a foreign adoption in what seems like record time. If we have to follow the rules, why doesn’t she?
Finally, we are allowed to wonder how on earth she has the time to actually parent these children when she seems to spend so much time professionally, and image polishing.
If you were a birth mother, would you choose someone so busy to parent your child?
John, good point. I recently saw an article in one of the “serious” newsmagazines about how Maddox cries constantly about having to jet around the world all the time. Apparently the kid wants stability and permanency. He wants to grow up in one place with familiar surroundings, and doesn’t like moving every three months.
I like that Angelina is raising awareness of world problems, but something about these adoptions feels wrong. If she were not rich, and were just a regular Joe, what would her home study say? Would it really be good enough to get her approved? And if she were a single woman in an unplanned pregnancy, she would be hammered for her previous choices and told she ought to surrender to a sensible two-parent home. Money changes everything, doesn’t it?
Updates on Two Hot Adoption Stories, including “Angelina Jolie’s Adoption of Pax Thien Jolie” –
http://adoption.about.com/
Her analysis is the best and most reasoned one I’ve found yet.