Although some of our adoption challenges are unique, there are many life skills and qualities that we can help guide us and deal with our adoption struggles. Here are a few:

1. Forgiveness – to forgive ourselves for our imperfections and to forgive others who may harm us whether intentionally or inadvertently.

2. Strength - to carry on when things get tough, to face hard truths when it is required that we do so.

3. A brave spirit – to endure and shine and step up to the plate when you need to do so, and rely on your courage to get you through whatever comes your way.

4. Persistence – the ability to keep trying even when something is hard.

5. Patience – to give ourselves and those around us the time and space to get to where we want to be with ourselves and our relationships.

6. Dogged determination – the “can do” attitude and a commitment to never give up.

7. An open mind and heart – to be open and willing to learn from others and to open your heart enough to risk rejection.

8. The ability to communicate well – to be able to resolve differences with others in a calm reasoned and sensible manner.

9. An ability to think critically to make wise, and well informed decisions. It is easy to make good decisions when life is easy, but less so in a crisis. Most of us are stronger than we realize. When tested, we come through better than we imagined that we might.

10. A knowledge and appreciation of life – to be able to appreciate and savor all the many gifts in life that we have. Not all gifts are solely material, but the beauty of nature, the joy of children, good health and supportive and loving family and friends are important.

For many of us, adoption is extremely challenging. We are tested, we learn and become stronger to survive and thrive. If you look at this list and find yourself lacking, consider working on developing some of these qualities.