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On the flip side, what about men who want to pressure a woman to parent their child, even when she wishes to choose adoption? Pressuring a woman either way is not a smart thing to do.
If a woman really does not want to parent, and you talk her into parenting, what are the chances that she will become a good mother? It is possible that she could have a change of heart after the baby is both, but, again, she is the party most impacted by her pregnancy. I believe that means that she gets to decide what happens to the baby in most circumstances.
However, I know one young man who sought custody of his child once he knew that his girlfriend had decided on the adoption option. I believe that he should have been given the chance to parent their child if she did not want to. I do not know why the baby’s mother did not want him to have custody.
Perhaps she also had some spiteful and punitive reasons as well. I suspect that she perhaps believed a two parent family would be a better option. The baby’s father spent years fighting for custody in court, but, did not succeed. Nothing about him gave me any indication that he would not have been a warm, loving and successful parent. He was financially solvent, stable and I cannot imagine that he could not have done a superb job of parenting.
If a woman believes that the father of her child is unstable or would provide an unsafe home for their child, that is altogether an entirely different situation. Several women have told me that they relinquished in order to keep the baby safe. They felt that the fathers might have harmed the babies in some ways mostly due to drug or alcohol addictions.
In an ideal world, a couple would decide together the fate of their baby. Ultimately, the woman is always more affected by whatever decision is made. Therefore pressuring her does not seem wise. If a couple cannot agree, who gets to decide, the father or mother of the baby?
WE chose adoption. Her bdad and I. He has not been able to handle the emotions involved. I have gone to the visits by myself and I let him know that he is always welcome to come, he knows and sees the pictures when I receive them. There was no pressure just discussion and a uniform decision.