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“They told me that it’d be easy,” said the birth mother. “They lied.”
Adoption seems to be woven into so many television series this days, and yet rarely do they seem to “get it right.” Most portrayals of adoption stories show scant evidence of any research or input from experts. Last Sunday’s “Cold Case” was different. An episode aired about the murder of a young unwed mother in the sixties who had been in a unwed mothers home run by nuns.
The writers of this episode either read “The Girls Who Went Away,” by Ann Fessler or interviewed some birth mothers from the era. Otherwise, I doubt that they could have presented this episode as authentically as they did. They exposed the hearts of birth mothers from the baby scoop era.
The comment about “They told me that it’d be easy,” was made by a birth mother who had lost her son to adoption many years ago. “They” were the nuns in the unwed mothers home. The response, “They lied,” was made by the detective, Lily, the female star of the show. Two simple words, and yet hearing her say them probably warmed the hearts of many birth moms who believe that indeed “they” DID lie.
Cold Case happens to a television show that I enjoy a great deal. I was hoping, but not expecting too much when I heard about this episode. Another part I particularly felt pleased to see was when Lily questions the birth mom’s statement that losing her son was “a piece of cake.” Lily draws the birth mom out of her denial. Lily has not only found out that the birth mom has been desperately been searching in vain for her son for years, but she located him for the birth mother. The tough birth mother melts and weeps as she begins to talk of her love for her son.
If the nun’s cruelty seems farfetched to anyone, I can assure you that I know women who have related comments identical to the meanest ones the nun in this episode makes. Just to add more spice to this story, there was some mention of black market adoptions. Apparently, the unwed mothers home made some extra money to help run the home; not all of the adoptions from the “home” were legal. Black market adoptions were more lucrative.
Mentions included how society considered unwed mothers “bad girls,” and how mothers do not forget their babies or stop yearning for them. Many of the important points about that period of time were addressed. I wanted to cheer as I cried watching this show. Sometimes they do get it right and when they do – I do the happy dance.
Every Catholic Baby Boomer I’ve ever met was traumatized by nuns. Was it part of a broader educational philosophy at the time?
(I went to Georgetown for law school, but Father Drinan made sure not to prosteltyze. My classmates said that the liberal philosophy was pretty much limited to the Jesuits, but I don’t know enough about Catholic theology to know if that’s true.)
Thanks for sharing this, Jan. I didn’t watch (don’t watch the show) but am pleased to hear that someone, somewhere is “getting it.”
Thank you for posting this, Jan. As you know, I, too, enjoy Cold Case and was so glad the writer got this right. Whatever helps to let people know the truth deserves our kudos!
A different point of view from an adoptee who is also an adoptive mother: to me, the Cold Case episode was a grotesque attack on the very practice of adoption (a storyline that includes a drunken doctor, cruel nuns, babyselling, plus leaving mothers to “labor in the dark for 18 hours” — at what time of year does it stay dark in Philadelphia for 18 hours? Give me a break!). No one minimizes the pain of birthmothers, but the Cold Case episode was a caricature of adoption. It was pure propaganda.