I love The Shape of a Mother. It is a website that touches my soul. And my hips and my stretch marks and my extra, stretched out skin. The idea behind the site is to show that Mothers are beautiful, no matter what their shape, size or story. When I'm having a bad self-image day, I peruse the site and read the stories and am reminded that I am not alone.

Today I was reminded of that in a way that I hadn't been in my previous excursions on the site. I came across an entry entitled, "Birth Mother (Anonymous)." I clicked, wary of what I would find. Being hormonal with this pregnancy, I did end up in tears. I think that most any birth mother who has gone on to have another child can hear the words that this particular mother wrote. I think they echo through our hearts and minds.

The end of her entry is what hit me to my core:

I will change his diaper and soothe his cries. I will be there to see him smile for the first time, and it will be me he smiles at! I will help him take his first steps, I will know the sound of his laughter and He will call ME Mother....My Samuel....God has heard.

I remember thinking those particular thoughts, minus the name, when I was pregnant with Nicholas. I remember being so excited at the prospect of staying up into the wee hours of the morning feeding my child. (You know, the least exciting moments of early parenthood!) I celebrated my pregnancy, which is something I was unable to do the first time. I watched my body grow with awe and love. I read everything I could get my hands on. I talked about the pregnancy, the baby, our nursery and everything else under the sun to anyone with a set of ears.

I am pleased, humbled and moved to see that another birth mother was strong enough to tell her story on the site, include her picture and give others a small glimpse into the heart of a birth mother. Some of the comments made me want to wretch a little bit but one stuck out to me and spoke the loudest.

as an adoptee who has the unique joy of being loved by two mothers, just wanted to say I admire your courage and the truly unselfish love that you must have felt for your son to ensure that he had the best possible chance in life.

I like the wording: "the unique joy of being loved by two mothers." A beautiful sentiment on a beautiful post. I don't always find comfort when an adoptive parent says thank you but when an adoptee says thank you? To me, it means so much more.

In short, this post is a beautiful addition to an amazing site. It is encouraging to see more and more birth mothers and birth fathers finding the courage to speak out in different arenas about their experiences. It is encouraging to find birth mothers being accepted by mainstream mothers into a site that is solely, 100%, about motherhood. It is encouraging to see us grow, not by number, but by strength.

The Shape of a Mother deserves recognition for including this particular entry. It could have been ignored or passed over for someone of a more acceptable motherhood. A genuine and heartfelt thanks for the inclusion of this beautiful Mother. (And a hope for a beautiful, easy rest of a pregnancy for the Mother who was 24 weeks on April 11th of the year.)

And, as a challenge, I think more birth mothers should submit a picture and their stories. You don't have to be pregnant; show a stretch mark or how a pregnancy has made the curve of your hip into something wonderfully beautiful. (And then tell us about your entry!)

(Added note: The Shape of a Mother is not entirely work safe. View and read at your own risk.)





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For More about Pregnancy and Parenting after Placement, read:

1. Parenting After Placement: Differences During Pregnancy - Part One

2. Parenting After Placement: Differences During Pregnancy - Part Two

3. Parenting After Placement: Personal Pregnancy Experience (with pictures!).


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