In honor of National Adoption Month, which hits us in less than a week, we’re going to be participating in the unique “experiment” going on regarding a book, the triad as a whole and what we hope sums up to be a learning experience for the lot of us. Plus, as an added bonus, we’re having a little giveaway here on AdoptionBlogs.com. What’s all the hoopla about?
A book tour will be taking place of the oft-debated, highly controversial book, The Primal Would by Nancy Verrier. You’re not familiar with the book? The full title actually reads, “The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child.” In case you think that this book will be an easy read, here’s a blurb from the author’s site:
The Primal Wound is a book which is revolutionizing the way we think about adoption. In its application of information about pre- and perinatal psychology, attachment, bonding, and loss, it clarifies the effects of separation from the birth mother on adopted children. In addition, it gives those children, whose pain has long been unacknowledged or misunderstood, validation for their feelings, as well as explanations for their behavior.
In fact, on the very same page Verrier acknowledges that it is a difficult read for all members of the triad “because of the emotion it evokes.” Some people try to discount the book, saying that it doesn’t apply to all adoptees and, as such, is rubbish. I disagree. In fact, I think we should all be sitting down to read this, especially birth parents. Why? We’re not raising the child under our roof so we’re not responsible for the issues an adopted child has, right? Wrong. Any birth parent in reunion knows that isn’t the case. Any birth parent who has lived to answer a difficult question (or twelve) from their relinquished child knows that isn’t the case as well. We have a responsibility to our placed children. Reading this book, whether it applies directly to our situation(s) or not, is one part of that responsibility.
Now that you know about the book and the book tour, you should get involved. Remember: this is a cross-triad book tour. While I’m posting about it here on the birth parent blog on our site, all members of the triad are invited to participate! (In fact, while I think that birth parents owe it to their children to read about all of this, perhaps maybe more so, our waiting adoptive families need to read this book. Add in our mothers considering placement over at the unplanned pregnancy blog and, well, I can’t decide who needs to read this one the most!) Here’s how you can get involved, taken from the Blog Tour leader’s site:
- Sign up for the tour by November 30. Sooner is better — why not now? EVERYONE wanting to explore the mosaic that is adoption is invited to join.
- Get the book. Buy it or get it from the library. Soon. Read it.
- Come up with up 1 or 2 discussion questions (not Yes-or-No), which are due to me by November 30.
- By December 5, you’ll receive a list of questions from other participants. From this list you will choose any 3 to answer on your own blog or space (one option is simply to comment on this Examiner page the day of the tour). You do not have to have a blog to participate.
- Have your answers to your chosen questions posted by December 12.
- On the tour day, links to participants’ answers will be on the Examiner page. You can then read and comment on the answers from other people who have read and are discussing The Primal Wound. The tour is designed so that each person reads and comments respectfully on the thoughts of other participants.
Not too difficult, is it? Don’t delay.
To make the deal a bit easier, we’re giving away three copies of the book to three lucky readers. That way if you don’t own the book, you don’t have to beat feet to your library or shell out the cash to an online vendor! We’re all about helping our readers learn about adoption and what better way than to give away a book, while controversial, that really hits at the heart of the matter: the child. We do hope that our winner will participate in this blog tour though it is not mandatory.
To enter our book giveaway:
- Comment on this entry with a question you have (regarding adoptees/adoption) that you hope this book answers. Or, if you’ve read the book and really need/want a copy for yourself, leave a comment with a question that this book did answer for you. You may do this once.
- Follow @AdoptionBlogs on Twitter and tweet about the giveaway by copy/pasting the following in your twitter stream: Win The Primal Wound from @AdoptionBlogs so you can participate in the upcoming blog tour! Read more here: http://bit.ly/Iw8ng . (You may do this as many times as your twitter followers will tolerate.)
- Post about this giveaway on your public blog, linking back to this post. Please come back and leave a comment so we don’t miss it!
Rules: Winner must live in the United States. Open to all triad members! (Meaning: you don’t have to be a birth parent to win this book here on the birth parent blog.) The giveaway is open through Tuesday, November 3, 2009 at noon. We’ll close comments and pull a winner via random.org. Winners will be contacted via email. We’ll ship by the end of the week so that you can get to reading as soon as possible.
We are excited to be participating in this blog tour. We hope that our readers, whether they enter the giveaway or participate in the blog tour, give the book and the upcoming posts and questions regarding the book a moment of thought. Thinking about how adoption affects our children is never a bad thing.