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One of my favorite first/birth mom bloggers has done a beautiful job of relating this story. Her rendition of this sad tale says it well.
This story as yet has not received widespread coverage, but I hope that it eventually will. It is a story that needs to be told. In a nutshell, a 17 year old mother was counseled by a high school guidance counselor who referred her to an adoption agency. Stephanie says that the agency advised her to run away from home so it would be easier to place her baby for adoption. “Easier” because her baby was five to six months old, and being cared for by her grandparents as Stephanie finished high school.
As a grandmother myself, I can relate to the sheer horror that baby Evelyn’s grandmother must have felt when she figured out what happened. I can only imagine how Stephanie feels now too regretting her decision, and knowing that she received questionable counseling, what little there was.
No one knows for certain what the conversation was like between the high school guidance counselor and Stephanie. However, there are many unexplained and troubling questions. Why did the counselor act so quickly? Did he unappropriately rush her into such a decision? Why did he believe that ignoring the grandparents was acceptable? Is it ever appropriate to make a decision about placing a baby for adoption that abruptly? Is it appropriate for a counselor to participate in such a hasty decision? What about the rights of the father of the baby? Did this adoption circumvent him as well as Stephanie’s parents (the babies’ grandparents?
The most crucial questions revolve around what happens next. Will this be one of those long drawn out custody battles that lasts for years? For the child’s sake, we can all hope that this is not the case. Is anyone now investigating the counselor’s part in the adoption? Will there be any repercussions for the adoption agency?
One favorite line often used when people side with adoptive parents in custody battles is “How can you rip that child away from the only family that it has ever known?” No one can say that baby Evelyn should stay with the adoptive parents because they are the only family she has ever known. That is not the case. This baby had grandparents and a mother who had taken care of her for approximately five to six months months.
The agency involved in this adoption was the same agency involved in the infamous ABC Special, “Be My Baby.” You might remember it, it was initially advertised as a competition between three families. Can you guess what the “prize” was? The uproar in the adoption community was huge. ABC was picketed over the airing of this show by adoption social workers, adoptees and birth parents to express their extreme outrage and displeasure.
As a grandparent, how would you feel about losing your grandchild to adoption in this manner? As an adoptive parent, how would you feel about adopting a child knowing how its mother and family were treated? How would you explain it all to the child someday? Could you?
For more read:
This teaser from the Akron Beacon Journal.
Adoption Week E-magazine has the story about this teen mom’s change of heart. It is listed under 4. Adoption News.
As a grandparent of a child being raised by his single mom, I would have been heartbroken and outraged. I also would exhaust every means to regain custody of our family member.
My family was fortunate that we were able to educate ourselves about unethical adoption practices and avoid the danger areas (counselors at our daughter’s university, a “crisis” pregnancy clinic, her ob practice, the nurses and doctors at the hospital, an intrusive social worker at the hospital, offeres of social services for help that she does not need, friends looking for a baby for their friends and family, … ). It is important to be bluntly honest and even rude with the myriad of professionals and friends who push adoption.
Sadly, the Bennett family did not realize that adoption professionals are successfully pushing their way into high schools to solict young women for adoption and that hopeful adoptive parents are advised to network through school nurses and counselors. Else, they might have been able to warn Evelyn and avert this tragedy.
Happy G’Ma
Oops Correction – ” … else they might have been able to warn Stephanie ..” Evelyn is their missing granddaughter.
Sorry – written BC (before coffee).
Happy G’Ma
I’m so glad you wrote about this important story, Jan. I so wish this would get some important press like some other stories similar to this one.
It’s very sad to note that today is Evelyn’s first birthday.
The timeline of the story is included in many blogs; the birth father was actually threatening Stephanie if she told anyone that he was the father.
Kim at reunionwritings.wordpress.com probably has one of the easiest timelines to read at:
http://reunionwritings.wordpress.com/2007/04/16/bring-baby-evelyn-home-now/
Jan, I also blogged about this on Jan. 1st
http://open.adoptionblogs.com/index.php/weblogs/children-placing-children
I was advised by the powers that be here though not to use the young mother’s last name because she is a minor.
I was sad to learn that the baby is still not home with her family, most especially today on her 1st birthday.
Thanks for the update.
I said when we adopted our daughter that I wanted to be sure there was no other way for her. I hope that the family hoping to adopt Evelyn will come to realize that they are not acting in the best interest of the child, but only in their own best interest. I hope they can get to that point and return the baby to her mother.