Today I am thankful for Munchkin’s Mom, D, and all that she has done for the Munchkin, for me and for our family. Of course, I am always thankful for D; she has been a godsend. She’s the type of adoptive Mom that you wish for your child, for your situation.
D and I didn’t become best friends instantaneously. It’s required some work on both parts. As I stated before, I bonded with J first as he’s the more talkative and outgoing spouse. However, I had no ill feelings or reservations about D from even our first phone conversation.
Our relationship started to take off about a month after the Munchkin’s birth. Yes, while she was around pre-placement and also at the hospital, we were more quiet with one another. As we began to figure out what we were to each other as a family, D and I began talking with regularity on any one of our instant messaging platforms or by e-mail. Without warning, we began talking as normally and frequently as I spoke to any of my other friends.
I found out that D and I have very similar personalities, which explained why we were both reserved with one another at first. We have a lot of the same likes and dislikes. Eventually, we began calling each other the “Blonde Me” or the “Brunette Me” because really, except for our hair color, we’re strikingly similar in thought and deed. This fact, in itself, was calming to me. I knew that the Munchkin was going to be raised by a Mother who embodied a lot of my likes, dislikes, thoughts and desires. No, not all of them. But some of them and that was comforting.
As our open relationship progressed through those first visits, D and I became closer. During visits, we would stay up to ungodly hours, talking about who knows what and laughing about anything under the sun. We watched movies. We bonded over shopping. We ranted about our Husbands. She helped me plan my wedding and stood by my side as a bridesmaid.
This is not to say our relationship has been without misunderstandings; they’ve been there and we’ve worked through them together. Yes, feelings have been hurt by things done and said. Yet heartfelt apologies, on both sides, have been offered and, with time, wounds healed. It’s like any other relationship. I don’t get more angry with D when we have a disagreement simply because she’s the Mother of the Munchkin who just happens to be the child I placed for adoption. That wouldn’t be fair to her or our relationship. I try to take things in stride but yes, sometimes I get upset. It happens. Life happens.
D is an amazing Mother. If you’ve ever seen a child in the midst of the terrible twos, you know how bad it can get. However, if you knew ME in the middle of MY terrible twos, you might have a better inkling of the stubborn fits that the Munchkin can throw. D handles these with a grace that I hope to posses in about a year and some months when my own stubborn little man decides to try and out-stubborn-me. I have learned a lot from D in regards to parenting, both by discussion about certain topics and watching the way she performs with her children.
I am thankful that D is an honest, respectful woman who stands by her word. I am thankful that D and J have each other. I am thankful that, since I’m not raising the Munchkin, D is. I am thankful for her ability to parent in an amazing way. I am thankful for her friendship. I am thankful for the memories we have made together. I am thankful that we have worked through difficult times and that we have enough faith and desire to work through things that will come at us in the future. I am thankful that we enjoy spending time together, not just as an adoptive mom and a birth mom, but as friends, women and mothers in general. I am thankful for her committment to the Munchkin and open adoption. I am thankful for her advice. I am thankful for her laughter. I am thankful that D has become one of my best friends for without her, my life would lack something amazing.