September 17th, 2007
Posted By:
Categories: Closed Adoption

While I’ve been mentioning some things about closed adoption in various posts, it hasn’t been my main focus. In fact, it never was my main focus. Having a co-blogger like Jan to cover that topic, since it was her reality, left me with the ability to talk about it as it pertained to me or as it was covered in other areas. Without her presence, I’ve been noticing the lack of balance. Though no purposeful or vengeful in any way, it’s still a lack of balance! Last week I started taking the steps to right it.

While I am not a mother from the closed adoption era and can thus never fully understand those issues and emotions, I’ve seen the need to continue to talk about those issues here on the birth/first parent blog. I threw up a post on the forums asking other closed adoption mothers for their ideas and concerns. They’ve hit me with a wealth of information, questions and ideas! Still, I thought I should pose the questions to readers of the blog who may be interested in closed adoption birth parent issues.


What do you want to talk about? What do you want to read about? What are the issues facing your life?

I ask this because, honestly, I can’t pretend to know all of the questions, let alone all of the answers. I’ve been blessed with a group of mothers who placed in the closed era who are always willing to be sounding boards for important question and answer sessions. I plan on utilizing their expertise, as they have not only talked the talk but walked the walk, while simultaneously seeking out other information and resources for our readers.

This is a scary task for me. It’s never easy or emotionally safe to take your writing beyond your own experience. I’m sure I will say something wrong. I’m sure I will step on someone’s toes. In the end, any offenses will (most likely!) be unintentional. I have the utmost respect for mothers who relinquished in the era before the one in which I did, a time with little to no choice that still drips with secrecy. I can empathize, of course, as I, too, miss my daughter but I will never pretend to fully understand.

All disclaimers aside, if you have an idea for a great topic of discussion here on the blog about the issues that face birth parents who relinquished during the closed adoption era, please (oh, please!) leave a comment or drop me an e-mail. Your questions, even if you personally know the answers, may end up helping another mother or father in the process. Furthermore, the world needs to learn more about those parents who have been shrouded in secrecy for far too long.

I expect to start writing more, at least two times per week, on issues that specifically pertain to the closed adoption era sometime in the next week and a half. I’m pulling together some things right now to be published next week so, please, stay tuned!

For more, read:

1. Closed Adoptions and Marriage.

2. How To Be a Good Birth Mother – Closed Adoption.

3. How to Deal with a Closed Adoption.

4. Or join in the forum discussion: Closed Adoption Blog Ideas.

Photo Credit.

2 Responses to “Talking About Closed Adoption”

  1. Deb Donatti says:

    Jenna, I would love to hear about other extended birthfamily of children placed in closed adoptions. That has been my own experience as an aunt to 4 children placed in closed adoptions. It has been hard to find and to connect to other extended birthfamily who grieved with their family member (the birthparent), and suffer with their own sense of loss as I certainly do.

    I am sure you will do a fine job with the topic of closed adoption, I must admit though (no slight to you intended) that I miss Jan and her perspective, even if we did not always see eye to eye.

  2. Deb; I miss Jan as well. That said, thank you for your idea. It’s gone on to my ever-growing list. :)

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