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You think you’ve seen it all. And then this news story out of Germany makes you scratch your head and wonder.
A man in Germany received a two and a half year sentence after fathering four children with his sister. What’s that have to do with adoption? Well, that’s where the strange part comes in just in case that tidbit wasn’t strange enough for you.
The man was relinquished for adoption when he was four. He met his birth mother (again) when in the year 2000. Upon meeting his sister, they “fell in love” and had four children. (Note: the article does not say whether or not the sister was fully biological or a half-sibling.) It also doesn’t say that these two had met prior to finding out they shared a birth mother. Apparently they met after the meeting and knew that they were siblings. They argued that two people who love each other shouldn’t be kept from one another.
Yes, there’s a general ick factor for me, sitting here, knowing who my biological brother is and thinking about doing anything with him other than pulling his hair or making fun of his (enter something here). (We love each other. Really.) Then again, I was raised with my brother (even though I was eight when he was born). I got the chance to change his dirty diapers, wipe his snot-crusted nose and generally form a distaste for him when he tried to butt into my personal space and time. I think most siblings, raised in the same household, go through similar issues with one another.
And so, this really raises a question about siblings raised apart, reunion and the lack of ick factor. Earlier this year a story hit the wires about two people who got married who ended up being biological siblings. Adoption was once again involved.
I can’t help wondering if openness would really help all areas of this particular topic. For example, take my children. I don’t foresee the Munchkin wanting to marry either of my boys, her half-siblings, because she will a) know who they are and b) be exposed to them growing up and c) therefore form a general ick factor when they do general gross things and annoy her like siblings do. If they didn’t know each other at all (as in the case of a closed adoption), I’d be panicked if either boy brought home a girl her age that had beautiful big brown eyes and her skin tone. I’d want blood tests before I let them go out on a date! Imagine how that would ruin a teenage romance!
I think this particular circumstance (in the article) is an extreme, of course. We don’t hear stories like this on a regular basis. But it’s still unnerving for parents who have relinquished children and go on to raise others. The possibilities aren’t fully removed, especially when you factor in the unknown of closed adoptions. Yet another reason to support the opening of records, no?
I have a first brother that is a year older than me and one that is two years older than me, full siblings. When I went to college I was living in the city where I was born, close to where my family lived when I was born. My mom lived in fear that I would meet one of my first brothers and fall in love with him. Why? Because we are attracted to people that look like us!