Revisiting Old Movies

I couldn’t sleep on Saturday night. I was nervous for the following morning as I was singing a song in church. (It didn’t go well. No, I don’t want to talk about it.) As insomnia usually goes, I was flipping through the channels. Well, folks, Steel Magnolias was on and, let me tell you, it’s an old favorite of mine. However, I hadn’t watched in years and years. Not since my mid-college days when we would sit and sob over the movie. I hadn’t watched it since becoming pregnant with the Munchkin, relinquishing her for adoption, getting married and having two children of my own.

And boy, movies can change the impact that they have on you once your life experience changes a bit.

For those unfamiliar with the 1989 movie, Julia Roberts plays a character with diabetes. The doctors have advised her not to have children as it could wreck her kidneys. Like any other stubborn woman, she goes against the doctor’s wishes. After the birth of her son, she starts on dialysis but the damage has been done and she eventually dies. I get all weepy thinking about it now. I could have written about this prior to watching it the other evening. What I couldn’t have written about were the mentions of adoption.

I had no recollection of adoption talk when I turned the movie on the other evening. And why? The last time I watched this movie, adoption was not part of my reality. The comments from Shelby’s mother, M’lynn, played by Sally Field, probably went right over my head. This particular scene happened just after Shelby told her mother that she was pregnant.

Shelby: Mama, I want a child.
M’Lynn: What about adoption? You’ve filled out all the applications.
Shelby: Mama, no judge is gonna give a baby to someone with my medical records. Jackson even put out feelers about buying one.
M’Lynn: People do it all the time.
Shelby: Listen to me. I want a child of my own. I think it would help things a lot.
M’Lynn: I see.

I sat there in my bed on Saturday evening, trying to picture my pre-pregnancy and pre-placement self hearing those words. At that time, I also didn’t know that I had a kidney disorder that made pregnancy difficult, at best, for me. I didn’t know, at the time, that this movie would run strange parallels with mine, hopefully not having the same ending! I just thought it was a movie that was good for a cry!

And so, the movie has changed for me. No, it’s not about adoption. But adoption is mentioned. As is a pregnancy in which kidney function is called into question. Thankfully, the movie has many redeeming qualities. There are so many one-liner gems, both humorous and sincere, throughout this movie that I couldn’t help myself from my normal laughter and tears. Of course, at the end, I’m always moved by Shelby’s mother’s words.

I find it amusing. Men are supposed to be made out of steel or something. I just sat there. I just held Shelby’s hand. There was no noise, no tremble, just peace. Oh, God. I realize as a woman how lucky I am. I was there when that wonderful creature drifted into my life and I was there when she drifted out. It was the most precious moment of my life.

I’m all teary eyed right now. The movie may have changed a bit for me but it still remains high on my list of good Tear-Inducing Flicks. Because sometimes you just need a good cry. Trust me.

Photo Credit.

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