November 16th, 2009
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Categories: Television

I was sitting in my living room, minding my own business when a promo came on the television for a new show. Maybe you’ve heard of it? Find My Family is a show set to debut on ABC, a channel I rarely watch, on November 23rd. The premise of the show is to reunite family members who have, in the words of the press release, “lost touch.” Included in that are, of course, birth parents and the children they relinquished for adoption. The press release can be read here.

A unique spin on this particular spinoff of the idea we’ve seen presented on television over the past few years is that the two searchers on the show are both adoptees. This could be good. This could be bad. This could not matter at all. What does matter is the fact that in the first episode the two birth parents are… married. I say that this matters because, so often, birth parents are portrayed as scandalous teens or young adults who slept around. These two “beat all the odds” and have been married for 27 years, raising three children in the meantime.


I’ll DVR the show and give it a thorough review here. I’m sure it will be both uplifting and heartbreaking. But, for the record, I hate shows like these. I hate the exploitation of raw human emotion. I hate that we set these families up without giving them support of counseling that they might need after the honeymoon phase of reunion wears off. I don’t hate that we’re reuniting families; I love that! I hate that we’re not offering these families the counseling that they likely need to endure the emotional roller coaster that they’re boarding.

As such, I’m torn. I want families to be reunited. I also want families to be supported. Surely there is a middle ground. I hope that those who tune in to watch this show learn that adoption isn’t always the easy answer. I do hope that it isn’t a glorification of the adoption industry without a thorough discussion of the emotional turmoil that goes on for all members of the triad. I hope that these families find a way to make their post-reunion-day lives work. I hope that they realize that reunion isn’t easy. It can be beautiful but it’s not easy.

I’ll watch the show on the 23rd at 9:30. If you do, I encourage you to come back on the 24th for my review and to provide your input.

Photo Credit.

5 Responses to “Reuniting on Television”

  1. hotspice58 says:

    that’s done on the Locator which is on WEtv. Troy Dunn first located his mom’s birth family. There was one story were a girl in a foster home was taken out for possible RU that didn’t work out; she was put in another home and adopted by the first foster mom and she had such a connection. When they saw each other again, it was tear-jerking!!

  2. [...] Posted by adoptioncoach in Adoption and Family, Family, adoption, adoption stories, parenting. Tagged: Find my Family TV show. Leave a Comment I have mixed feelings about this new TV reality show, ‘Find Your Family’. Here is the Press Release explaining the theme of the show. Press Release [...]

  3. irishgal63 says:

    I’m a birthmom from ILL., I was BULLIED by my (bio) father, into giving up my son
    (Patrick Edward Weis) for adoption almost 23yrs. ago .
    I would LOVE to be reunited with hi, just NOT on TV .

    Patrick’s b-mom, Lori

  4. chrissyh says:

    You wrote my thoughts on this TV show, I was so afraid of how they would show adoption as all happy and it’s the easy answer…it was a good show. They did show just how hard it can be on the firstparents, granted they only had an hour for the stories and the reunion. I do hope they all get help with the post-reunion. I have been reunited with my son who is 18, and also my oun bmom…it can be hard. Just wanted to say the show was not as bad as I thought it would be…

  5. reunite071506 says:

    I am a birthmom and have recently been reunited with my birthdaughter so of course I wanted to watch this show. I love it. I can understand how people feel as far as doing it on tv but everyone signs off on it I’m sure and would not be televised if they didn’t want to. I think it’s great. I know some people are probably thinking why does everything have to be a reality show but I like it because it brings back happy memories and some sad but it’s also what I can relate to and I know other people have gone through what I have gone through 30 years ago. It also brings birthfamilies together. I think it’s great. I wouldn’t worry about getting counseling afterward, I’m sure everyone will be fine. I think people tend to read too much into things and want to make sure “real” things don’t happen to people. I hope this tv show continues….I can relate. Hopefully some people who would like to reunite with their birthfamilies will maybe get some help or contact the show to see how to go about it. It can be a wonderful thing for both parties, I’m sure not all are great but at least they know where they stand.

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