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Each subsequent visit is more comfortable than the last for most people who reunite. Although I think I appeared calm and composed when my son and I had our first face-to-face meeting during reunion, before the meeting I was skittish, excited and a bit scared. Our first visit was huge for me and the night before I left, I was a wreck.
However, I did not want to present myself to my son as a pathetic, weepy mess. Although I am an emotional person, I was determined not to cry when we met or appear unstable or pathetically needy. I took a bubble bath right before we met, and calmed my frayed nerves. That bubble bath was just what I needed.
When we met, I imagine that it was clear that I was incredibly excited. Our first meeting was in my hotel room. My son called my room to say that he was in the lobby and on his way up. When I heard a knock on the door, I nearly jumped with fear, excitement and happiness all wrapped into one huge ball of nerves.
To hug or not to hug at the first meeting is sometimes a puzzle. For me, there was no doubt that I needed/wanted a huge bear hug. My son walked in the room and I was quickly in his arms and did get a nice long hug. Thank goodness, I cannot imagine not getting that hug!
Before my son’s first visit to our home, I cleaned like a madwoman. I planted new flowers in my garden. I carefully thought out what I would wear, and stocked the refrigerator with snacks and breakfast goodies. When I went to visit him for the first time, I bought some new outfits and fussed obsessively about what to wear.
Tomorrow, he is coming for a brief visit. He is in town for a convention, staying with a friend and will be with me for several hours. I got a manicure/pedicure in honor of his visit. A few days ago, I started cleaning the house. As of last night, I had only finished vacuuming the living room, but will get some more cleaning before he arrives. However, I won’t be manic and frenetic this time though.
The front door needs painting and the house won’t look perfect. The fridge is not stocked with food. Although, I have done nothing in the garden for awhile, my husband has, so it still looks wonderful. The rest……maybe it is time for me to relax and after six years, just enjoy our time together and let him see me and our home as they really are!
Further Reading:
Our First Photo and First Contact
Our First Face-to-Face Meeting
Photo by Jan Baker 2007
LOL I don’t worry about the house any more. I have been to his home, it isn’t cleaner then mine. I also forget to take pictures when he comes now. I forget. It has been 10 years. The frist few years there were pictures anytime and everyday..
Now, no worries.
Scarlet
Scarlet,
It is amazing how much calmer we get. The whole relationship starts feeling more normal, right? He may be glad if I do forget!
Ten years? Congratulations! I look forward to having that amount of time under our belts.