Comments on: Quantitative Pain: No Grief Gold Medal http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/quantitative-pain-no-grief-gold-medal A blog for and about parents who have placed a child for adoption. Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:02:45 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Veronika http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/quantitative-pain-no-grief-gold-medal/comment-page-1#comment-405 Veronika Wed, 04 Jul 2007 10:00:41 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/07/03/quantitative-pain-no-grief-gold-medal#comment-405 I find the whole concept so childish. The same goes for adoptive or infertile parents who claim to love their children more than someone like me, who conceived my children "easily". Since when is everything a competition? Sorry, but I missed the memo. No-one can see inside me to measure my pain or my love. Until they have that ability they can't make any assumptions on my feelings. They should just grow up and let someone else have a place in the sun too. I find the whole concept so childish. The same goes for adoptive or infertile parents who claim to love their children more than someone like me, who conceived my children “easily”. Since when is everything a competition? Sorry, but I missed the memo. No-one can see inside me to measure my pain or my love. Until they have that ability they can’t make any assumptions on my feelings. They should just grow up and let someone else have a place in the sun too.

]]> By: Chromesthesia http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/quantitative-pain-no-grief-gold-medal/comment-page-1#comment-404 Chromesthesia Wed, 04 Jul 2007 00:11:51 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/07/03/quantitative-pain-no-grief-gold-medal#comment-404 I just want to be compassionate towards anyone that has suffered and contests about who suffers worse doesn't make anyone feel better. I just want to be compassionate towards anyone that has suffered and contests about who suffers worse doesn’t make anyone feel better.

]]> By: Faith Allen http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/quantitative-pain-no-grief-gold-medal/comment-page-1#comment-403 Faith Allen Tue, 03 Jul 2007 21:43:00 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/07/03/quantitative-pain-no-grief-gold-medal#comment-403 Very well said.<br /> <br /> I tell people that the fact that another person has lost two legs does not, in any way, diminish my pain in losing one. Pain is painful. <br /> <br /> There is no value in "comparing" pains. Instead, I try to tap into the pain that I know in order to help me establish empathy for the pain that others are feeling, even if I have never experienced the other person's exact form of pain. <br /> <br /> I don't know why people get into a "contest" over whose pain hurts worse. ANY pain hurts.<br /> <br /> - Faith Very well said.

I tell people that the fact that another person has lost two legs does not, in any way, diminish my pain in losing one. Pain is painful.

There is no value in “comparing” pains. Instead, I try to tap into the pain that I know in order to help me establish empathy for the pain that others are feeling, even if I have never experienced the other person’s exact form of pain.

I don’t know why people get into a “contest” over whose pain hurts worse. ANY pain hurts.

- Faith

]]> By: AdoptionBlogs Editor http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/quantitative-pain-no-grief-gold-medal/comment-page-1#comment-402 AdoptionBlogs Editor Tue, 03 Jul 2007 21:07:32 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/07/03/quantitative-pain-no-grief-gold-medal#comment-402 Well said and very well written.<br /> Thank you. Well said and very well written.
Thank you.

]]> By: JudyK http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/quantitative-pain-no-grief-gold-medal/comment-page-1#comment-401 JudyK Tue, 03 Jul 2007 20:26:20 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/07/03/quantitative-pain-no-grief-gold-medal#comment-401 Oh, the One-Uppers. Frankly, I don't know if those people can be reached. They're selfish. For some reason, they need to have their pain acknowledged as worse than others; I have no idea why. The Pain Olympics is one challenge I've never wanted to get a gold medal from.<br /> <br /> I have a feeling that those people are just never satisfied unless they're the ones getting all the "Oh, you poor thing" attention. <br /> <br /> I'm with you. Pain is pain is pain. I see no reason to say that this pain is worse than that pain is worse than whatever pain. <br /> <br /> Even years after the fact, it still shocked me when another infertile asked me about ever getting pregnant and when I said that I had 2 miscarriages, she gushed, "Ohhhh, you're SO lucky!!" Wow. Now, <b>that's</b> what I'd call an unreachable One-Upper. Yeah, they're everywhere. Oh, the One-Uppers. Frankly, I don’t know if those people can be reached. They’re selfish. For some reason, they need to have their pain acknowledged as worse than others; I have no idea why. The Pain Olympics is one challenge I’ve never wanted to get a gold medal from.

I have a feeling that those people are just never satisfied unless they’re the ones getting all the “Oh, you poor thing” attention.

I’m with you. Pain is pain is pain. I see no reason to say that this pain is worse than that pain is worse than whatever pain.

Even years after the fact, it still shocked me when another infertile asked me about ever getting pregnant and when I said that I had 2 miscarriages, she gushed, “Ohhhh, you’re SO lucky!!” Wow. Now, that’s what I’d call an unreachable One-Upper. Yeah, they’re everywhere.

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