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Birth-First Parent Blog

10/15/07

Please Share Your Story on October 24th

Posted by : Jenna Hatfield in Birth-First Parent Blog at 09:55 am , 813 words, 369 views  
Categories: Healing and Recovery
Mothers who place their children for adoption are often overlooked in many areas. However, one area I think that we need to be paying special attention to is how post-partum depression is effecting the lives of these new birth mothers. Often times the emotional ups and downs are written off as a normal part of the grieving process that follows the relinquishment of a child. While this may be true in some case, it's not the case for some women.

On October 24th, bloggers will be joining together to support Mothers Act. What is Mothers Act? In short, it's a good thing. To quote from the initiating post in this blogging blitz:

Mothers Act is a bill introduced into the Senate by Senator Menendez of New Jersey that would provide for education about postpartum mood disorders for new mothers and their families, require healthcare professionals to screen new moms for postpartum mood disorders during the first year postpartum, and train those professionals on how to conduct proper screenings and care for women who are diagnosed with these illnesses. This bill is currently with the Health, Education, Labor & Pensions (HELP) Committee of the Senate. If the majority of the Help Committee Members endorse the MOTHERS Act, the bill will move forward for consideration by the Senate. Without Senate sponsors, the bill could languish in committee and await reintroduction at a future date.

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Again, mothers who place their children for adoption are going to fight an uphill battle in having a doctor believe that the grief and loss are not the only thing going on with the mother. The hormonal imbalance caused by the post-partum return to normal function should balance itself out eventually. If not, something more may be wrong. How can we tell the difference between normal fluctuations, a departure from that norm, normal grief and loss and/or a mother suffering from any number of the post-partum mood disorders that's just simply being exacerbated by placement grief and loss? We have to speak up, that's how.

Katherine Stone, who is behind this blogger awareness day, said it best in her post on post-partum mood disorders (which you absolutely, 100% need to read):

Women MUST speak up, reach out for help, and be able to recover as soon as possible in the hands of competent physicians.


Granted, those of us speaking up now will hopefully never again be experiencing post-partum fluctuations coupled with the grief and loss of placement. However, if we are willing to share our stories, whether they fall under the heading of "normal reactions" or swing all the way over to "excessive reactions," other mothers who place are going to have a resource to figure out what the heck is going on with their bodies, with their hearts and with their minds. If we tell our stories without shame, these new birth mothers will have access to information as they Google-search through their struggles. If we put our stories on our blogs, easy to find and locate nowadays, maybe these new first mothers won't have to suffer in silence. Perhaps they will find the strength to speak up and tell their doctor, "Ya know, I'm pretty sure this is something more than just grief. I've printed out this checklist and I'm thinking that we need to investigate this in more depth."

Birth mothers are silenced far too often. We're told to keep quiet. We're told that we don't matter. To some, we never will. However, birth mothers need to be aware of the signs, symptoms, realities and help available for post-partum mood disorders. Doctors with prejudices against mothers who place aren't going to be offering up the information. We need to offer them the courage to speak up and to demand care.

So, please, on October 24th, share your post-partum story or stories. Even if you didn't experience any post-partum mood disorders, share your story of those post-placement months and weeks. (Feel free to compare it to other post-partum experiences that you may have under your belt as well.) If your story is "normal," meaning that you just had grief and loss (or complete denial), it needs to be told as well. Why? These new birth mothers need to have something to compare their own experience to as they figure out what the heck is going on in their bodies, their lives. Don't hide behind shame. We need to speak up, speak out. No first mother deserves to suffer in silence. We do that enough as it is.

Please join in on October 24th. (And come back to leave your link here and also over on BlogHer so others can read about how these issues effect birth mothers!)

//
For more, read:

1. Seasonal Affective Disorder and Birth Parents and Resources for Seasonal Affective Disorder.

2. Overwhelmed by Adoption Loss?

3. Core Issues in Adoption: Grief.

//
Photo Credit: BlogHers Act Blog Day for Mothers Act.

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: Coley S. [Member] Email · http://unplanned-pregnancy.adoptionblogs.com/
Thanks for the heads up Jenna! What a great idea - I will try to remember (writing it down now) to share my PP story in the CP blog as well as my personal blog!
PermalinkPermalink 10/15/07 @ 16:24
Comment from: Jenna Hatfield [Member] Email · http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/
Coley; I'm glad to see you'll be participating. I think it's important for mothers who have relinquished to share this kind of information with one another. It's just good info to have "out there."
PermalinkPermalink 10/15/07 @ 17:01
Comment from: Lisa [Member] Email · http://guatemala.adoptionblogs.com
Adoptive mothers also experience post adoption depression. This is a good initiative. I should remember the date; it is my little Ella's second birthday on Oct. 24th.:)
PermalinkPermalink 10/15/07 @ 20:48
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