Comments on: One True Benefit to Children from Open Adoption http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/one-true-benefit-to-children-from-open-a A blog for and about parents who have placed a child for adoption. Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:02:45 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Deb Donatti http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/one-true-benefit-to-children-from-open-a/comment-page-1#comment-294 Deb Donatti Tue, 10 Jul 2007 03:52:37 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/07/09/one-true-benefit-to-children-from-open-a#comment-294 To Heather's comment, I wish no one had to deal with not being able to get accurate information, but even birthparents who placed voluntarily do not always share truthfully.<br /> With my oldest an answer of who bio-father is (and all his health history) is being denied us.<br /> Our middle daughter at placement we were told of the mother's drug and mental health issues, but now (as our daughter is really having increased issues) we are being told that that information was not correct (we still believe it was).<br /> *sigh<br /> I wish everyone was so straight forward, but sadly like Jenna said, one has to be open to offering the info as well as recieving it. To Heather’s comment, I wish no one had to deal with not being able to get accurate information, but even birthparents who placed voluntarily do not always share truthfully.
With my oldest an answer of who bio-father is (and all his health history) is being denied us.
Our middle daughter at placement we were told of the mother’s drug and mental health issues, but now (as our daughter is really having increased issues) we are being told that that information was not correct (we still believe it was).
*sigh
I wish everyone was so straight forward, but sadly like Jenna said, one has to be open to offering the info as well as recieving it.

]]> By: John http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/one-true-benefit-to-children-from-open-a/comment-page-1#comment-293 John Tue, 10 Jul 2007 02:52:53 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/07/09/one-true-benefit-to-children-from-open-a#comment-293 Jenna and Heather, I knew my typing left a lot to be desired. Swaping names? You don't think that is a senior moment do you? Sorry to both of you.<br /> <br /> It may be normal to do the updates in open adoption, I still think that is wonderful and wish I had that for the boys. John Jenna and Heather, I knew my typing left a lot to be desired. Swaping names? You don’t think that is a senior moment do you? Sorry to both of you.

It may be normal to do the updates in open adoption, I still think that is wonderful and wish I had that for the boys. John

]]> By: Heather Lowe http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/one-true-benefit-to-children-from-open-a/comment-page-1#comment-292 Heather Lowe Mon, 09 Jul 2007 20:37:35 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/07/09/one-true-benefit-to-children-from-open-a#comment-292 Here's Heather, chiming in. <br /> <br /> John wrote: "How great that you keep the adoptive family updated."<br /> <br /> Yes, it is good, but it's not unique - almost all the open adoption birthparents I know do this. This is why I have such a hard time with those who want to paint birthparents with the "irresponsibility" brush. We are not the same as those who lost their kids due to neglect or abuse, and we operate differently. Here’s Heather, chiming in.

John wrote: “How great that you keep the adoptive family updated.”

Yes, it is good, but it’s not unique – almost all the open adoption birthparents I know do this. This is why I have such a hard time with those who want to paint birthparents with the “irresponsibility” brush. We are not the same as those who lost their kids due to neglect or abuse, and we operate differently.

]]> By: Jenna Hatfield http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/one-true-benefit-to-children-from-open-a/comment-page-1#comment-291 Jenna Hatfield Mon, 09 Jul 2007 20:33:08 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/07/09/one-true-benefit-to-children-from-open-a#comment-291 Not Heather! Not Heather!

]]> By: John http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/one-true-benefit-to-children-from-open-a/comment-page-1#comment-290 John Mon, 09 Jul 2007 20:30:02 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/07/09/one-true-benefit-to-children-from-open-a#comment-290 Heather, being able to get updated medical information is so important, as you pointed out, things change. I have run into a very unusual urologcical problem with one of my sons. It would be super helpful to get what history there might be, but this was an adoption from foster care for cause. No way of getting the information. <br /> <br /> It isn't until you have raised kids for a while that these issues come up and the need for contact becomes so obvious. How great that you keep the adoptive family updated. Those calls must be difficult to make. John Heather, being able to get updated medical information is so important, as you pointed out, things change. I have run into a very unusual urologcical problem with one of my sons. It would be super helpful to get what history there might be, but this was an adoption from foster care for cause. No way of getting the information.

It isn’t until you have raised kids for a while that these issues come up and the need for contact becomes so obvious. How great that you keep the adoptive family updated. Those calls must be difficult to make. John

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