Everyone who has read a lick of what I write knows that I support ethical adoptions and the reforms that are taking place to ensure that adoptions are being handled ethically. And so, I perked up when I saw this article. Oklahoma has won approval to review their adoption laws which apparently haven't been reviewed since 1994. How much has changed in 14 years?

Of course, my hopes were quickly dashed. Why do I get excited? Why do I bother with getting my hopes lifted that reviewing adoption means looking at it from all sides? Why do I honestly think that people want to make sure that expectant parents considering relinquishment and birth parents are treated in an equally ethical manner?

It's not that the things that they are set to be reviewing don't need honestly reviewed. They do! For example:

The task force would have the responsibility of studying and making recommendations on our current state adoption laws and practices, such as allowable expenses paid by adoptive parents for the benefit of the birth parents, documentation showing a detailed accounting and full disclosure of all money expended for adoptions such as birth mother expenses, agency fees, social services fees and attorney fees.

Now, some people are going to read that and say, "Uh, Jenna? See? They're thinking about birth parents." Well, not really. They're thinking about saving potential families from "unreasonable costs." Oklahoma actually allows for more birth parent costs than some states.

Birth Parent Expenses Allowed
Citation: Tit. 10, § 7505-3.2(B)

* Reasonable attorney's fees and court costs
* Medical expenses
* Reasonable counseling expenses
* In cases of extraordinary need, reasonable expenses for necessities for the birth mother that are incurred as a result of the pregnancy
* Reasonable travel and transportation costs

An initial payment of $500 is allowed before obtaining court approval.

So, before you argue that Oklahoma is going to be making sure that expectant parents considering relinquishment are helped financially in some way, my guess is that they're going to take away some of those allowable instances as they raise eyebrows as it is. Of course, I am also in support of such a thing because I believe when an adoptive family is paying for birth parent costs a sense of obligation is created. No, I don't have the specific answers on how to avoid this conundrum. Maybe Oklahoma does?

And then. Okay. I admit. I missed this small mention upon first reading. And I have to say that it rekindles a small flame of hope. Perhaps. Just maybe. This is the beginning of something good?

The task force will also examine jurisdictional issues, the use of technology to aid in the facilitation of adoptions, the appointment of an advocate for the birth mother, confidentiality considerations and industry advertising practices.

Looking at that paragraph, I can only hope that advertising practices are really, truly looked at in an in depth fashion and that, goodness please, birth parents (not just mothers) are given third-party, unbiased advocates. Can you imagine? If someone was looking out for the birth family in the process? If someone was willing to step forward and say, "Hey! That's not right," without fear of being fired by the agency or losing money from the adoptive family.

Of course, the Senator that started this review is an adoptive parent. His main reason for doing so?

As a parent of an adopted child, I believe in helping couples who want to provide a loving home for a child.

You know. Not to provide his constituents, on all sides of the triad, with truly ethical adoptions. Not to provide expectant parents with a system that doesn't exploit them to provide someone else with the opportunity to parent. Not to provide children with homes. Just to provide parents some children. Sigh.

I'll hold my small candle of hope that something good will come out of Oklahoma. I would like to know if any birth parents are on their "adoption advocacy group." If you are from the state of Oklahoma, consider writing to your Senator and voicing some opinions (even if they differ from mine because that's you right!).

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For more on ethics, read these posts.




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