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My interest is always piqued when I see an article discussion adoption ethics. I am mostly familiar with the ethics in Ohio and Pennsylvania as those are two states in which I live. Apparently Oklahoma is a state known to have lax adoption laws but some lawmakers are hoping to change that fact.
In the article, this little piece of information alarmed me!
Eight years ago, Drwenski had a daughter, whose adoptive parents were surprised to be charged $30,000, including numerous hours Drwenski spent talking with a caseworker and had no idea were billable to the parents.
Goodness! The article goes on to say that if financial disclosure existed in the state, that whole situation could have been avoided. Can you imagine how guilty the birth mother must have felt? And how shocked and angered the adoptive parents must have been? That’s an outrageous unethical act right there!
Of course, some of the wording in the article makes it seem like all parents looking to place children are out to take advantage of potential families. The article addresses one scammer, who took a family for a car and multiple gift cards. The article’s title also only addresses that the lack of reform is “costly” for adoptive parents, totally forgetting to address how birth families are “paying” for this lack of reform as well. But this quote isn’t addressed any further:
“Parents sometimes are so desirous to have a family they agree to anything they feel may help move the process along,” Lee said.
I’m not saying that scammers shouldn’t be dealt with; they should! But if we’re expecting expectant parents considering placement, attorneys and agencies to act ethically, shouldn’t potential families be held to the same standard? If something doesn’t feel right, get out. That’s what I tell expectant parents considering placement when they are matched with predatory agencies or families that don’t seem to be on the up-and-up. If you are a potential adoptive family and you are using a predatory agency or the mother you are matched with doesn’t seem to be on the up-and-up, get out. I know that’s more complicated for an adoptive family as money is tied to the issue but the question remains whether or not you want to act ethically or not. It’s your decision.
I hope Oklahoma’s new bill passes! I think it will go a long way to protect birth parents and adoptive parents and, as such, the child.
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For more on adoption reform, read these posts.
