Comments on: My Heart Can Empathize http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/my-heart-can-empathize A blog for and about parents who have placed a child for adoption. Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:02:45 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Jenna Hatfield http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/my-heart-can-empathize/comment-page-1#comment-615 Jenna Hatfield Fri, 05 Oct 2007 19:02:14 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/10/02/my-heart-can-empathize#comment-615 An interesting article spin on it: if Tatum O'Neal can clean herself up, Britney can as well. <br /> <br /> http://www.parentdish.com/2007/10/05/tatum-oneal-reaches-out-to-britney/ An interesting article spin on it: if Tatum O’Neal can clean herself up, Britney can as well.

http://www.parentdish.com/2007/10/05/tatum-oneal-reaches-out-to-britney/

]]> By: Jenna Hatfield http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/my-heart-can-empathize/comment-page-1#comment-614 Jenna Hatfield Thu, 04 Oct 2007 17:11:22 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/10/02/my-heart-can-empathize#comment-614 Calling my respect from others into question based on one post is an attack. However, if you read, I say you can say whatever you want about Britney, just nothing about me, personally. And you took it there which wasn't very cool. All the same, I allowed your comments to stand, though I said in the post I would delete personal attacks, because I think it shows a lot about how people view things differently and how that's simply okay. Your personal attack phased me a little but when it comes down to it, if people want to judge me for having compassion, well, I can think of harsher ways to be judged. Can't you? So thanks! :) Calling my respect from others into question based on one post is an attack. However, if you read, I say you can say whatever you want about Britney, just nothing about me, personally. And you took it there which wasn’t very cool. All the same, I allowed your comments to stand, though I said in the post I would delete personal attacks, because I think it shows a lot about how people view things differently and how that’s simply okay. Your personal attack phased me a little but when it comes down to it, if people want to judge me for having compassion, well, I can think of harsher ways to be judged. Can’t you? So thanks! :)

]]> By: Jenny http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/my-heart-can-empathize/comment-page-1#comment-613 Jenny Thu, 04 Oct 2007 17:10:23 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/10/02/my-heart-can-empathize#comment-613 Okay whoa...I'm sorry you feel I've attacked you because that was not my intention in asking these questions. Nowhere did I say or infer that I did not like your compassion. I'll bow out now, since it seems like maybe those who would challenge or disagree are not as welcome to comment. <br /> Okay whoa…I’m sorry you feel I’ve attacked you because that was not my intention in asking these questions. Nowhere did I say or infer that I did not like your compassion. I’ll bow out now, since it seems like maybe those who would challenge or disagree are not as welcome to comment.

]]> By: Chromesthesia http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/my-heart-can-empathize/comment-page-1#comment-612 Chromesthesia Thu, 04 Oct 2007 16:46:22 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/10/02/my-heart-can-empathize#comment-612 She could be depressed and that's how she could deal with it...<br /> I still feel bad for her.<br /> She's just a cub after all. It's rather unfair to attack her when the rest of the world is doing that too...<br /> <br /> Hopefully she will go on the right path. She could be depressed and that’s how she could deal with it…
I still feel bad for her.
She’s just a cub after all. It’s rather unfair to attack her when the rest of the world is doing that too…

Hopefully she will go on the right path.

]]> By: Jenna Hatfield http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/my-heart-can-empathize/comment-page-1#comment-611 Jenna Hatfield Thu, 04 Oct 2007 15:17:51 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/10/02/my-heart-can-empathize#comment-611 <em>Why do you want to compare your feelings at relinquishment with those of a drug-addicted, child-neglecting girl who voluntarily turned over her kids 2 days earlier than required, spent the next 2 days partying, and then did not show up for court?</em><br /> <br /> Why? Because I think all humans have feelings and deserve a little compassion. That's just who I am. Sorry you don't like it. I like who I am. :) Have a nice day!<br /> <br /> Edited to add: I'm not sure why my compassion for one human being would affect how others see or respect me. I didn't say <em>all</em> should feel this way. I was writing how I feel. The only time I used the collective word you in the post was to ask readers to imagine what it felt like to put on a brave face for cameras. Perhaps I should have said that I couldn't imagine doing it. Apologies for taking my words out of the personal. :) Now, let's move on from discussing why I should or shouldn't feel empathy. I do. That's that. You don't. That's that. Let's not attack me because of differences in opinion. :) Why do you want to compare your feelings at relinquishment with those of a drug-addicted, child-neglecting girl who voluntarily turned over her kids 2 days earlier than required, spent the next 2 days partying, and then did not show up for court?

Why? Because I think all humans have feelings and deserve a little compassion. That’s just who I am. Sorry you don’t like it. I like who I am. :) Have a nice day!

Edited to add: I’m not sure why my compassion for one human being would affect how others see or respect me. I didn’t say all should feel this way. I was writing how I feel. The only time I used the collective word you in the post was to ask readers to imagine what it felt like to put on a brave face for cameras. Perhaps I should have said that I couldn’t imagine doing it. Apologies for taking my words out of the personal. :) Now, let’s move on from discussing why I should or shouldn’t feel empathy. I do. That’s that. You don’t. That’s that. Let’s not attack me because of differences in opinion. :)

]]> By: Jenny http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/my-heart-can-empathize/comment-page-1#comment-610 Jenny Thu, 04 Oct 2007 15:16:40 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/10/02/my-heart-can-empathize#comment-610 Why do you want to compare your feelings at relinquishment with those of a drug-addicted, child-neglecting girl who voluntarily turned over her kids 2 days earlier than required, spent the next 2 days partying, and then did not show up for court? Her own lawyer made a statement that he begged her to show up but "she wouldn't."<br /> <br /> You are a firstmother that so many, many people respect, look up to and listen to - myself included. But I think you are off-base on this one. You can have compassion, and write about that compassion, without making direct comparisons between what you felt and what you think she must be feeling - and I ask you, how can you be sure of the things you wrote below? Her actions have given you no basis on which to form these statements...<br /> <br /> "I'm sure she is feeling regret for everything she did and everything she didn't do. I'm sure she's berating herself for poor decisions. I'm sure she's questioning her own worth as a mother. I'm sure she's going over things in her mind, again and again. I'm sure she's hoping, praying, wishing on a star that this is solved quickly. No mother, even a young, partying, hip one who might think the "scene" is cooler than motherhood at times, wants to be told that they aren't good for their children." Why do you want to compare your feelings at relinquishment with those of a drug-addicted, child-neglecting girl who voluntarily turned over her kids 2 days earlier than required, spent the next 2 days partying, and then did not show up for court? Her own lawyer made a statement that he begged her to show up but “she wouldn’t.”

You are a firstmother that so many, many people respect, look up to and listen to – myself included. But I think you are off-base on this one. You can have compassion, and write about that compassion, without making direct comparisons between what you felt and what you think she must be feeling – and I ask you, how can you be sure of the things you wrote below? Her actions have given you no basis on which to form these statements…

“I’m sure she is feeling regret for everything she did and everything she didn’t do. I’m sure she’s berating herself for poor decisions. I’m sure she’s questioning her own worth as a mother. I’m sure she’s going over things in her mind, again and again. I’m sure she’s hoping, praying, wishing on a star that this is solved quickly. No mother, even a young, partying, hip one who might think the “scene” is cooler than motherhood at times, wants to be told that they aren’t good for their children.”

]]> By: Jenna Hatfield http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/my-heart-can-empathize/comment-page-1#comment-609 Jenna Hatfield Thu, 04 Oct 2007 02:15:17 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/10/02/my-heart-can-empathize#comment-609 Jenny; You're also assuming that she wasn't in court because she didn't care. That's assumed of me on a regular basis because I placed my child for adoption. It's off base but still assumed. Assume all you want, I'm still going to have a bit of compassion during what must be a difficult time. It's just who I am. :) Jenny; You’re also assuming that she wasn’t in court because she didn’t care. That’s assumed of me on a regular basis because I placed my child for adoption. It’s off base but still assumed. Assume all you want, I’m still going to have a bit of compassion during what must be a difficult time. It’s just who I am. :)

]]> By: Jenny http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/my-heart-can-empathize/comment-page-1#comment-608 Jenny Thu, 04 Oct 2007 02:08:20 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/10/02/my-heart-can-empathize#comment-608 She didn't even show up for court today to fight for her kids. Have a big heart for those who lose their kids, sure...but don't lump yourselves in with someone who won't even show up. Don't drag yourselves down by equating your feelings with what you assume hers must be. She didn’t even show up for court today to fight for her kids. Have a big heart for those who lose their kids, sure…but don’t lump yourselves in with someone who won’t even show up. Don’t drag yourselves down by equating your feelings with what you assume hers must be.

]]> By: Lisa http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/my-heart-can-empathize/comment-page-1#comment-607 Lisa Wed, 03 Oct 2007 05:16:13 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/10/02/my-heart-can-empathize#comment-607 I feel bad for the children...really bad.<br /> I feel bad for the children…really bad.

]]> By: erin_d_a http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/my-heart-can-empathize/comment-page-1#comment-606 erin_d_a Wed, 03 Oct 2007 02:05:43 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/10/02/my-heart-can-empathize#comment-606 I feel bad for Britney, honestly I do.<br /> <br /> It seems this young woman is an addict, and surrounded with people who are keeping her in that place, like most addicts are.<br /> <br /> And if she deserved to lose her children or not, I have no doubt she loves her children.<br /> <br /> Perhaps the demons of addiction are stronger than her willingness to get herself together for her children right now.<br /> <br /> I truly hope that she can take this time and change the course of her life and become a great mother to her children. I hope the loss of them, even for this short period makes her value her health and see how important that is to her children. I feel bad for Britney, honestly I do.

It seems this young woman is an addict, and surrounded with people who are keeping her in that place, like most addicts are.

And if she deserved to lose her children or not, I have no doubt she loves her children.

Perhaps the demons of addiction are stronger than her willingness to get herself together for her children right now.

I truly hope that she can take this time and change the course of her life and become a great mother to her children. I hope the loss of them, even for this short period makes her value her health and see how important that is to her children.

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