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It’s an old cliche: motherhood changes everything. Any expectant mother hears that old adage and rolls her eyes. I know I said, more than once, when my Husband and I were waiting on the arrival of our oldest son, that we already knew kids would change our lives. “That’s the point!” Oh, how little we really knew in the end! Because, as cliche as it sounds, it is simply one of those truths. Motherhood does change everything.
Someone experiencing that right now is celebrity Nicole Richie. If you follow the star world at all, you know that she had a baby in January of this year. What you may not know is that Nicole is an adoptee. I actually didn’t know this for her first few years in the spotlight. My Husband told me! Her adoption story was covered here on the blog before and you can read more there. I’m not here to rehash the ins and outs of her story.
Instead, this recent celebrity blurb caught my eye: Nicole has been spending time with her birth mother. You can see some pictures on this celebrity gossip blog. This quote caught my eye although I was already thinking it as soon as I saw the headline.
Meanwhile, insiders tell that Nicole, who was adopted by Lionel Richie, hasn’t maintained contact with her birth parents for years, but reportedly has decided to get to know her real family for her newborn daughter’s sake.
(Of note: the use of the term “real family” was not mine. Everyone is real. No one is imaginary.)
I can’t help but wonder what is going through Nicole’s mind and heart at this time. I’m not an adoptee but I have often tried to put myself in their shoes, to feel what they feel in any given circumstance. While I’ll never fully know, it has helped me on an empathetic level that I hope to use in the future with my own relinquished daughter.
I’ve read many times before that the birth of a child will lead many adoptees to search, reunite or fan the flames of a relationship that was already in existence. The reasons that I’ve read and heard are as varied as the families experiencing the situation. Some newly mothering (and fathering) adoptees want answers as to how you could let go of a child you birthed and love so very much. Some are awash with a sense of understanding that a “real” parent will do anything to help their child, even if that means letting go (to adoption). Some don’t have any specific reason, just the feeling that this is finally the right time.
Whatever the reason, I can’t help wondering how Nicole’s birth mother is fairing. While the rest of us can manage to have our relationships and reunions in the peace of our own homes or neighborhoods, only ruffling the feathers of those closest to the situation, this birth mother is living out her moments under the watchful lenses of the paparazzi. For some birth mothers, that would be enough to scare them away. I am thankful that this particular mother is somewhat used to the spotlight and doesn’t have to shy away from her daughter during this time.
No matter the reasons behind the rekindled relationship or the emotions that accompany it, I am sure that Nicole’s birth mother is delighted to be interacting with both her daughter and her new grandchild. I wish the whole family, the Richies included, a happy and peaceful season of reunion. All I know is that new baby will benefit from more love. I mean, what kid wouldn’t be excited to have more grandparents to spoil her?
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For more on celebrities here on the birth parent blog, read these posts.
Photo Credit from Wikimedia Commons.
Good Luck to Nicole. Hope she and the baby are doing well.