e-mail
So, yes, I’m on another Wicked kick. It comes and goes in my life, having attached itself to my adoption journey a few years ago. You see, Wicked debuted on Broadway in October of 2003. At that point, I was on bed rest with the Munchkin during my very complicated pregnancy. As such, I tend to associate it with that time frame.
The lyrics of another song, however, specifically make me think about the relationship between birth and adoptive mother as well as, in another section, birth mother and relinquished child. I’ll share the part that makes me think of my daughter’s adoptive mother first.
I’ve heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true
But I know I’m who I am today
Because I knew you
I can’t really listen to that section without tearing up a bit. (In fact, I’m crying at the library while writing this as I so associate it with our story.) I do believe that people come into our lives for a reason. My daughter’s mom was meant to be in my life, to be in her life. She has touched my life in so many ways. She has made me a better person in so many ways. And I believe that if many adoptive parents and birth parents sat back, they could see some of those threads woven through their own stories. Maybe not to the extent of our story but in their own way. I am who I am today because of my daughter’s adoptive family… in so many ways.
Similarly, I think of my daughter during the verse that Elphaba sings.
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You’ll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend
Okay, so, the “by being my friend” doesn’t particularly fit. However, as I left the hospital that cold, December day, I didn’t know if we’d meet again in this lifetime. I had a handful of promises but I had no guarantees. So much of me is made from what I learned by her existence and I continue to learn because she exists, in my life and outside of my life. She is a handprint on my heart, my soul. Whatever way our stories end, she has helped to write who I am. I think many a birth parent (or, parent in general) can agree that our children change us in these ways. In fact, if our children didn’t change us in such ways, I’d be worried. I’m not who I was when I became pregnant with the Munchkin. I’m a better person for her existence, for the births and parenting of each of my boys, for the short-lived moment before miscarriage of the baby we lost. I’m a better person for each of them having touched my heart.
I once related more strongly to angrier songs. I prefer relating to these. I’ve changed so deeply over the past few years, finding healing in different forms, in different words. I do believe it’s because of the people that have happened into my life. I’ve been so gloriously changed by so many of them.
_
Photo Credit.
