I don't know why my jaw continues to drop. Perhaps it's because I really, really want to believe that we're making the necessary strides in reform efforts. Perhaps I want to believe that the general public is really "getting it." However, they're not. (And movies like Juno don't help any. No, really.) But I'm continuously flabbergasted by how corrupt the current adoption system is and the lengths they continue to go to in order to attain healthy babies.

A post on ParentDish this morning made my blood boil. In short, a single mother with every intent to parent and no reason for hospital staff to believe otherwise, was basically harassed by a social services worker.

Since no one was there for me at the hospital, my doctor sent social services in to see me. I remember being half asleep in my hospital bed, trying to ignore the pain from the staples in my stomach and the breathing tube in my mouth, and looking up to see a strange woman attempting to talk to me. She told me that she wanted to discuss my options and had some adoption pamphlets for me. I asked her why she was there, because my doctor was well aware of my intentions of keeping my son. She took my hand and told me that it's very difficult to raise a child alone, and there is no shame in choosing a better life for your child.

Say what? My brain hurts. And my heart hurts more.

I understand, like the author of the post does, that the woman was probably just trying to do her job. However, her job should not be to make assumptions and harass mothers into considering placement. As soon as the mother said, "No," she should have apologized, immediately, and exited the room. She then should have reported the doctor for overstepping his boundaries and requesting services that were not needed.

Sadly, this isn't an isolated event. If you read in the comments of that pots, another mother went through a similar experience. Knowing that this kind of malarchy is happening in hospitals around our country is surely disconcerting. Knowing that it is the twenty-first century and single mothers are still being told that they are short-changing their children is alarming. Note that the social worker did not tell the mother in question, "While your child may statistically be better off in a two parent home, a statistic that is widely debated, but, to be honest with you, I cannot guarantee that your child will always have a two parent home. Adoptive parents divorce and die just like any other parent. So, while what I'm saying now is true, I can't make any promises for your child's future."

Because, you know, honesty isn't necessary as long as it fits your agenda.

It's very disheartening to read stories like this, especially on such a frequent basis. However, there is hope. When mothers share their stories and expose the corrupt practices that are alive and well in today's adoption system, there is hope for change. It is when we are silent or silenced by others that all hope is lost.

Keep telling your stories. Foster that change.

//
For more on unplanned pregnancy, read these posts.


//
Photo Credit.