Monthly Review: October 2007

I’ve been blogging here for an entire year. As of the beginning of this month, that is! I had looked back at some of my previous posts from this time last year and I can see the strides I’ve made in my own healing just by how I talk about various subjects. By no means am I suggesting that my adoption related grief and loss are issues of my past. No, not at all. I’m just pleased that I’ve managed to pull a few things together, make some sense of others and continued to learn about the issues that affect us all. It’s been a good year. Not always easy but good!

That said, it was a good month. Not always easy but good! I hit on a lot of topics, aggravated a few people, got aggravated myself and proceeded to sweat bullets during a presentation. (It seemed appropriate since I was sweating bullets leading up to said presentation!) But the temperature dropped and I’ve finally stopped complaining. (At least about the temperature.)

I talked some about biological fathers and their rights, including an article out of Canada that brings the issue into the spotlight. Of course, then another article about a not-so-smart father was so upsetting that it probably made any argument for father’s rights null and void. Hopefully people realize the difference in situation!

As usual, I had a couple of rants. What? You expected me, in my third trimester of pregnancy, to magically quit ranting? Sorry to disappoint! Let’s see. I ranted about a dumb correlation between decreasing abortions and thus increasing adoptions. While one post about empathy didn’t start out as a rant, it ended up as such in the comments because of some responses. (Still my favorite post for the month!) That discourse also sparked another post on the topic of adoption, relinquishment and celebrity parenting styles. My biggest rant, which still has my blood boiling, came from an article out of the UK. Thinking about it now makes my head nearly explode. And then I ranted some more as the state of Alabama decided it wasn’t necessary to teach their students about all of their options, just the controversial-semi-unethical ones.

On October 24th, I talked about postpartum depression, how it hit me after the birth of my first parented son and the current strive for mothers to contact their Senators to help pass the MOTHERS Act. I purposefully chose to talk about it on the birth/first parent blog because it’s an issue that many mothers aren’t prepared for (the extreme emotions that can come when you parent after placement combined with the hormonal fluctuations of postpartum healing). I wasn’t. My doctors didn’t know how to address it after Munchkin’s birth or Nick’s. And so talking about it gets the word out there! (Of course, then my whole pregnancy experience was trivialized by this shirt. Lovely.) Speaking of pregnancy, I also cautioned readers about some red-flag adoption programs. While I was speaking of one adoption program in specific, many of these red flags can be applied to many other pregnancy/parenting/adoption programs that are “on the market.” Read it so you know what to look for when searching for ethical programs!

I spent time on two different posts talking about birth mothers who do not tell their families and then giving some advice for broaching the subject. Some of my advice was tongue-in-cheek, meant to give a light-hearted look at what can be an overwhelming and scary topic. However, the advice and stories presented in the comments of that post show some real-life applications of the topic at hand. I am always thankful when mothers and fathers share their experiences with us! We all learn so much!

Love Thursday was full of, well, love this month. It started out with a nice note that I got from a fellow blogger (and then I encouraged others to send some nice notes!). I then talked about sharing parenting advice with Munchkin’s Mom and, later in the month, sharing tough times with one another as well. I also talked about the excitement that comes with gearing up for a visit, but, sadly, it looks as though that visit might be canceled due to unforeseen health problems. Such is life, eh?

When it came time to talk about creating traditions in open adoption this month, I was all about the season and today’s holiday. (Happy Halloween, by the way!) I gave readers an idea for self-grown pumpkins next year as well as some other pumpkin-y ideas. I talked about costume sharing and the different ways you can go about that despite distance. I used distance to my advantage when I talked about opposing football teams and how to have fun with different team rivalries! Then I tossed up a last minute idea to share candy. Again, I can’t stress it enough: check in with the family concerning allergies prior to sending candy!

I had some other good posts. You should check out my October archives if you’re interested in what the month of October brought us subject-wise!

Of importance to note: I started out the month talking about the importance of birth mothers knowing their medical history and sharing it with their relinquished children. It is only fitting that I end Breast Cancer Awareness Month with another look at the topic. In that post I shared that my Mother had been diagnosed, the week prior, with invasive breast cancer. It was a very scary and unnerving time for our family. It has been a rather unsettling month with more surgeries and more waiting for answers. I am happy to report that all ten of my mother’s removed lymph nodes came back “clear,” meaning that the cancer has not spread to her lymphatic system! She will “just” have to have radiation. This speaks to the importance of getting yourself checked out because early detection can mean all the difference. This battle with cancer has now changed how I will approach breast health now and in my future and how the Munchkin’s Mom will help her approach the topic as well.

Here’s hoping that November:

1) Stays nice and cool!
2) Brings a nice birthday party for one Mr. Nicholas!
3) Brings about great topics of discussion on the blog!
4) Brings me something to post about everyday as I’m participating in NaBloPoMo with this blog as well as my personal blogs!
4) Brings us turkey and stuffing. Mmm.
5) And, once we get past Nick’s birthday, brings us a nice healthy new baby!

Seriously though? After all of the complications I have experienced? Watch this stubborn little dude stay in there until well after his December 2nd due date! Oh, my kids. They’re funny.

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Photo Credit: ©2007 Jenna Hatfield.

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