Comments on: Meant to Be? http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/meant-to-be A blog for and about parents who have placed a child for adoption. Tue, 02 Feb 2010 22:23:05 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Jan Baker http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/meant-to-be/comment-page-1#comment-1231 Jan Baker Sun, 09 Jul 2006 23:46:53 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2006/07/07/meant-to-be#comment-1231 With all due respect to Kate, I think to say that a birth mother's pain cannot compare to the pain of an abortion is her experience, and her guilt speaking. She may feel deep regret for her abortion; not all women do. <br /> <br /> Some women would also argue that the pain of adoption is much worse than that of abortion. It is a deeply personal choice, and the feelings are not universal. <br /> <br /> Plus, she seems to be assuming women choose between abortion and adoption only. Many women choose mainly between adoption or parenting.<br /> <br /> "I don’t believe that my higher power would have put me through the kind of pain that adoption has caused me." That is exactly how I feel. <br /> <br /> With all due respect to Kate, I think to say that a birth mother’s pain cannot compare to the pain of an abortion is her experience, and her guilt speaking. She may feel deep regret for her abortion; not all women do.

Some women would also argue that the pain of adoption is much worse than that of abortion. It is a deeply personal choice, and the feelings are not universal.

Plus, she seems to be assuming women choose between abortion and adoption only. Many women choose mainly between adoption or parenting.

“I don’t believe that my higher power would have put me through the kind of pain that adoption has caused me.” That is exactly how I feel.

]]> By: Brinanara http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/meant-to-be/comment-page-1#comment-1230 Brinanara Sat, 08 Jul 2006 02:06:10 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2006/07/07/meant-to-be#comment-1230 Dear Maja,<br /> <br /> I hope that through the pain of your sacrifice you might find peace. The courage and selfless love that you have shown by seeing your pregnancy through, and placing your child with a loving family, is heroic. <br /> <br /> I speak both as a mother that cowardly aborted a baby in her teens and one that has adopted a newborn in her 40's.<br /> <br /> Even though the pain of separation might be great, you have done the right thing. <br /> <br /> My daughter, adopted at birth, will always have a yearning in her heart for her birth mother. She will never forget the voice and heartbeat that she heard for nine months. <br /> <br /> Perhaps in Heaven we will all rejoice together and as there will be no loss, all of our love will be complete.<br /> <br /> Please know that although the pain of your loss in placing your punkin is intense, it cannot compare to the pain that you would have felt should you have snuffed out his life with an abortion. You have chosen the selfless path and I KNOW that your "higher power" will reward you!<br /> <br /> May God bless you and keep you and those you love!<br /> <br /> Kate<br /> <br /> Dear Maja,

I hope that through the pain of your sacrifice you might find peace. The courage and selfless love that you have shown by seeing your pregnancy through, and placing your child with a loving family, is heroic.

I speak both as a mother that cowardly aborted a baby in her teens and one that has adopted a newborn in her 40’s.

Even though the pain of separation might be great, you have done the right thing.

My daughter, adopted at birth, will always have a yearning in her heart for her birth mother. She will never forget the voice and heartbeat that she heard for nine months.

Perhaps in Heaven we will all rejoice together and as there will be no loss, all of our love will be complete.

Please know that although the pain of your loss in placing your punkin is intense, it cannot compare to the pain that you would have felt should you have snuffed out his life with an abortion. You have chosen the selfless path and I KNOW that your “higher power” will reward you!

May God bless you and keep you and those you love!

Kate

]]> By: Peanut http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/meant-to-be/comment-page-1#comment-1229 Peanut Fri, 07 Jul 2006 21:34:59 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2006/07/07/meant-to-be#comment-1229 I too have heard negatives when I expressed that I feel my children (by way of adoption) were "meant" to be in my life, like God somehow put us together. Never have I felt that this means that my children were not meant to be a part of their birth family, they definitly were. The gifts they received from their first family are things I could not have given them. Rather I feel like God ALSO intended for them to be a part of our family. I think adopted kids can either look at it as a hardship OR see it as an added opportunity & a chance to experience the love of TWO families. Sounds like your Punkin is doubly blessed with more than one family who put his needs first and formost above their own. God bless you! I too have heard negatives when I expressed that I feel my children (by way of adoption) were “meant” to be in my life, like God somehow put us together. Never have I felt that this means that my children were not meant to be a part of their birth family, they definitly were. The gifts they received from their first family are things I could not have given them. Rather I feel like God ALSO intended for them to be a part of our family. I think adopted kids can either look at it as a hardship OR see it as an added opportunity & a chance to experience the love of TWO families. Sounds like your Punkin is doubly blessed with more than one family who put his needs first and formost above their own. God bless you!

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