August 23rd, 2006
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Categories: Archives

Young women find themselves in the situation of an unplanned pregnancy every day, all over the country. There are resources right here at for those facing an unexpected pregnancy. We have a site dedicated to information as well as a forum.

One of the options when faced with an unexpected pregnancy is to make an adoption plan. There are several kinds of adoption and several ways to pursue adoption. So what are the different kinds of adoption? There are three different kinds to consider: open, semi-open and closed.

The thing about choosing adoption for your child is that you are doing for their benefit not yours. So when agencies or other adoption professionals tell you to choose a level of openness comfortable for you, remember you should choose the kind of adoption best for your child.


Open adoption comes in several different levels. My adoption with Punkin is a fully disclosed open adoption. I know where Punkin and his parents live and have their phone number. They have the same information for me. We visit at each other’s homes and treat each other as family, because that is what we are, bound together by a shared son.

Open adoption can also include visits, photos and calls, but not be fully disclosed. Visits happen at a neutral place such as a restaurant or park, communication may take place through the agency or go to a post office box. Phone calls may not happen or only be made by the adoptive parents. Communication may also happen through email.

Semi-open adoptions include photos, communication through letters and perhaps phone calls or emails. These may again take place through the agency or privately between the adoptive and first parents. Sometimes the communication in these is both ways, but frequently it is one way with adoptive parents sending updates to the first parents. If communication goes both ways it will frequently be to a post office box because either party may be reluctant to release their address due to myths.

In closed adoptions no information is exchanged. The child is placed with the adoptive parents and there is no contact until the child is eighteen or twenty-one depending on the laws of the state the adoption took place in.

In all of these situations you, as a potential first parents will have the chance to pick your child’s adoptive parents. There will be profiles for you to look through and perhaps home studies.

When choosing what kind of adoption you want, consider what your child will need. Chances are pretty good that your child will have questions about you and being able to answer those questions for them as they grow up is important. If you are mentally and emotionally happy and can be a consistent presence in your child’s life, it is important to choose an open adoption, fully disclosed if all parties are willing.

Remember no matter what, adoption professionals may be telling you, choose the best kind of adoption for your child.

One Response to “Making an Adoption Plan, pt. 1”

  1. gostarbucksgo says:

    The writer said, “Sometimes the communication in these is both ways, but frequently it is one way with adoptive parents sending updates to the first parents” and I know that no one will ever read this, but in case anyone comes across this post, I’d like to clarify: Maybe contact is “frequently” one sided and initiated by the adopters in the cases she is aware of, but of all the moms of adoption loss that I know, none of them have EVER stopped contacting their children’s adopters, just begging for scraps, maybe one more picture, one more phone call a year than was “originally” intended.

    I know in my case, contact just kept getting smaller and smaller after they got my baby.

    Let’s just not assume that we know for sure which side has more of a prevalance for stopping frequent contact, cause we don’t.

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