Remember how I was excited two weeks ago about an upcoming visit? And remember last week how I talked about supporting each other through hard times? Well, welcome to hard times. J & D have had to cancel the visit due to some unforeseen medical problems on their front. (That said, it was always possible that the visit could be canceled at the last minute if Parker decided to come early but we were hoping he would behave!) And so, no visit.
Am I bummed? Of course. Understandably so. I mean, I was excited to spend time with D! I had plans for late night video games! (Can you say Guitar Hero? Oh yeah!) I had plans for some laziness. (Or, as lazy as you can be with a bunch of kids and husbands.) I had plans for laughter. I mean, you can’t really plan for laughter but when the two of us are together, it just inevitably happens that way!
I’m also bummed, obviously, that I won’t get to spend time with the Munchkin. I was excited to see how much she has grown since much earlier this year. I was excited to have conversations with her, especially considering that I was barely visibly pregnant the last time that we saw one another and attempted a conversation on the subject. I wanted to show her some fun things. I wanted to watch her interact with Nicholas. I really wanted some pictures of them together… and I wanted a picture of her with my big belly.
Life happens, of course. While I’m understandably bummed, my heart is broken for J & D who continue to deal with a really hard medical year. Things haven’t been easy. In fact, they’ve been hard. And rather scary at times! And while I won’t lie and say that this doesn’t bum me out, I’m even more bummed that my friends-slash-family are having such a rough time. It seems unfair (for them) to have to go through so much all at once!
Open adoption isn’t always easy. This is one of those times. It’s right now that I have to remember how I would like to be treated (or, how I have been treated) if I was in a similar situation. I would want to be met with understanding, with compassion. I would want to know that the other party was bummed that plans had changed (you know, so I felt wanted!) but that they were accepting that life, simply, happens! I would want emotional support. I would want some virtual hugs.
Love, really, is accepting your loved ones’ life hardships with understanding and an open shoulder to cry on. I miss my friends, my family. But I understand. I support. And I continue to love. Besides, our family isn’t going anywhere any time soon. Our door is always open. Well, to them, at least!
For more, read:
1. Being There.
3. Parenting Advice.
Photo Credit: ©P.Winberg.