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Now that the visit is over and I have time to sit here and give the report a thorough reading (in between chasing Nicholas around the room and cleaning up the mess of the visit), I’m going to tackle the Evan B Donaldson Adoption Institute’s Birthparent Study. I’ve wanted to do this since it was published but it’s hard with three children climbing on you. One should be easy to handle.
I already posted the entire Executive Summary for you but I will be working off of the Full Report. Let’s just jump right into their first recommendation, why don’t we?
Recommendation 1: Establish legally enforceable post-adoption contact agreements in all states and permit adults who were adopted to regain access to their own records,
Amen! Just yesterday I posted an article which offers hope regarding this recommendation in which a birth mother was granted visitation with her placed child. Like many other birth parents, that simple ruling and this extensive study are offering us little wings of hope that things may be about to change.
In my personal opinion, switching to a system of legally enforcable post-adoption contracts won’t be the big and scary thing that everyone assumes it to be. Instead, I forsee both birth parents and adoptive parents learning to take their committment to open adoption more seriously. When your name is on a piece of paper and you can be charged with breech of contract in a court of law, you usually tend to go about your business in a more ethical manner. I believe that simply allowing for these contracts, less open adoptions will be suddenly closed without warning or reason given to the birth family. Instead, I predict that more families will go about other means of working through issues in an open adoption such as counseling or mediation instead of simply closing the door and not looking back. Beyond that, I have always been a supporter and stated that birth parents should be held to the same level regarding ongoing contact. I believe this would help them to do so by reminding them that this is a legal requirement.
No, I don’t believe children should be returned to their birth parents if they breech the contract and no state law allows for such nonsense. Someone posted yesterday that they doubted the families could maintain cordial visitation now that the courts have been involved. All the more reason to not close the adoption in the first place. If you want happy, comfortable visits, go about things in an ethical manner! For those worried about what to do if you feel the birth parent is no longer acting in a manner that would be beneficial to the child, take the issue to court and have the contract thrown out due to changes that were not able to be forseen. There are legal and ethical routes for all circumstances that arise. People are just too scared to embrace change.
The Institute had these following suggestions on how to go about this dramatic change within the adoption world:
-To make the placement decision in a fully informed manner, devoid of pressure or coercion.
-To reconsider an adoption plan at any point prior to the legal finalizing of the relinquishment.
-To be informed from the start of any monetary expectations – such as repayment of financial assistance — if she changes her mind about placement.
-To exercise all parental rights she/he wishes prior to placing a child for adoption.
-To be treated with dignity, respect, and honesty.
-To have independent legal counsel to protect her/his best interests in the process.
-To receive nondirective counseling to help her/him understand all of the options and resources available and the implications of the decision.
-To be legally assured that promises and agreements made as a part of the process will be adhered to.
Now, looking at that list, it seems a lot of that would be common sense, right? Sadly, it’s not. Too many birth parents are also represented by the adoptive parents’ lawyer. Conflict of interest? I think so! Birth parents are allowed to have their own legal representation; it’s their right. In my case, I was never informed that I had a right to my own legal counsel. If I had been informed of that little factoid, we could have avoided a very sticky situation regarding the Termination of Parental Rights. (Okay, two situations!)
These suggestions could do wonders for adoption in our present day world. To be fully informed before making the decision to place would be amazing and a huge step. To be legally assured that as soon as the adoption is finalized you won’t see a disappearing act by the adoptive family would be a huge weight off a birth parent’s shoulders. Even being treated with dignity and respect would be a huge step forward.
This entire recommendation complete with the suggestions on how to get there is something that I fully support. I’ve wavered in the past on my personal stand regarding legally binding agreements. I now believe that if a birth family wants one, they should only match with an adoptive family that wants one as well. I understand that some adoptive families will not want one. I understand that some birth parents feel that a legal document cheapens the relationship.
And I also understand that too many birth parents have been 100% screwed over by the lack of such a thing. It’s time a change is made.
Later we’ll look at the study’s second recommendation.
Common sense? — yes, that’s sure what it looks like. And it’s really sad that it has to be spelled out that birthparents have to be treated with “dignity, respect, and honesty.” *sigh*
But it does have to be spelled out. This is the world we live in, and in so many situations, people are not treated in such a manner. It’s unfortunate in any situation, it’s unconscienable when it involves someone’s child.
God bless the Adoption Institute for coming forward and spelling this out in such an articulate way.