Comments on: Involving the Father: A Benefit to All http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/involving-the-father-a-benefit-to-all A blog for and about parents who have placed a child for adoption. Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:02:45 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: lahdh4 http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/involving-the-father-a-benefit-to-all/comment-page-1#comment-683 lahdh4 Fri, 02 Feb 2007 06:45:34 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/01/30/involving-the-father-a-benefit-to-all#comment-683 Jenna, I am one in the minority who can say that they agency included and still does to this day B. They offered him counseling/therapy after J's placement and still invite him to the agency picnic year after year. He has chosen not to be involved. His loss. Jenna, I am one in the minority who can say that they agency included and still does to this day B. They offered him counseling/therapy after J’s placement and still invite him to the agency picnic year after year. He has chosen not to be involved. His loss.

]]> By: Opalwench http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/involving-the-father-a-benefit-to-all/comment-page-1#comment-682 Opalwench Wed, 31 Jan 2007 09:52:00 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/01/30/involving-the-father-a-benefit-to-all#comment-682 Jenna, I know you read my post about Jeff's involvement (and the fact that next to no-one knew what to do with the fact that he was there.) Thanks for continuing to speak up so that more first-dads have a chance to be involved with their children and choices made for their children.<br /> <br /> Deb, You aren't alone! In fact our kinship adoption is through Jeff's side of the family.<br /> <br /> Chance, that's an interesting article. Jenna, I know you read my post about Jeff’s involvement (and the fact that next to no-one knew what to do with the fact that he was there.) Thanks for continuing to speak up so that more first-dads have a chance to be involved with their children and choices made for their children.

Deb, You aren’t alone! In fact our kinship adoption is through Jeff’s side of the family.

Chance, that’s an interesting article.

]]> By: Chance http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/involving-the-father-a-benefit-to-all/comment-page-1#comment-681 Chance Wed, 31 Jan 2007 06:13:11 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/01/30/involving-the-father-a-benefit-to-all#comment-681 http://www.cbc.ca/cp/Home+Family/070129/U012904AU.html<br /> <br /> I think you should check out this article. I don't know if you will find this intersting or not! A b.father who challanged an adoption of his son, but lost. I few quotes that really upset me:<br /> "But a lawyer for the couple urged Smith to put biology aside and consider the level of care his clients could provide. He pointed out the two are financially secure and educated, and could offer the baby better opportunities."<br /> ---Just b/c someone is more "educataion and more finacvially secure" dosen't mean anything.<br /> <br /> "While blood ties are one factor, they must be considered from the point of view of the significance to the child, rather than the significance to the biological parent," <br /> ---yes, if the adoption was followed through ethecially.<br /> <br /> "The judge also ordered a one-year period of "familial calm" to give the couple a chance to bond with the child. It is during that time that the biological father is not to visit his son"<br /> ---the 9 month old baby can not having visits so he bond with his family? I'm sure they wouldn't think twice about dropping the baby off at a church nursury for 2 hours a week! The baby isn't going to bond with nursury workers and not the parents.<br /> <br /> <br /> I also found this link of birth fathers contesting adoption, mostly w/o luck.<br /> http://www.relatedbychoice.com/clinical_mediation.htm http://www.cbc.ca/cp/Home+Family/070129/U012904AU.html

I think you should check out this article. I don’t know if you will find this intersting or not! A b.father who challanged an adoption of his son, but lost. I few quotes that really upset me:
“But a lawyer for the couple urged Smith to put biology aside and consider the level of care his clients could provide. He pointed out the two are financially secure and educated, and could offer the baby better opportunities.”
—Just b/c someone is more “educataion and more finacvially secure” dosen’t mean anything.

“While blood ties are one factor, they must be considered from the point of view of the significance to the child, rather than the significance to the biological parent,”
—yes, if the adoption was followed through ethecially.

“The judge also ordered a one-year period of “familial calm” to give the couple a chance to bond with the child. It is during that time that the biological father is not to visit his son”
—the 9 month old baby can not having visits so he bond with his family? I’m sure they wouldn’t think twice about dropping the baby off at a church nursury for 2 hours a week! The baby isn’t going to bond with nursury workers and not the parents.

I also found this link of birth fathers contesting adoption, mostly w/o luck.
http://www.relatedbychoice.com/clinical_mediation.htm

]]> By: Jenna Hatfield http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/involving-the-father-a-benefit-to-all/comment-page-1#comment-680 Jenna Hatfield Wed, 31 Jan 2007 02:31:48 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/01/30/involving-the-father-a-benefit-to-all#comment-680 No, I didn't miss it. No, I didn’t miss it.

]]> By: Deb Donatti http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/involving-the-father-a-benefit-to-all/comment-page-1#comment-679 Deb Donatti Wed, 31 Jan 2007 02:11:57 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/01/30/involving-the-father-a-benefit-to-all#comment-679 <blockquote>I'm posing a question based off of my personal experience and the things that I see written on blogs and in the forums.</blockquote><br /> <br /> Jenna, you missed what I have been blogging about on this topic...<br /> <br /> http://open.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/love-thursday-birthdads-and-birthdays<br /> <br /> E was involved all during P's pregnancy and placement and we are working really hard to keep him involved. We might not be the majority, but we are out here.

I’m posing a question based off of my personal experience and the things that I see written on blogs and in the forums.

Jenna, you missed what I have been blogging about on this topic…

http://open.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/love-thursday-birthdads-and-birthdays

E was involved all during P’s pregnancy and placement and we are working really hard to keep him involved. We might not be the majority, but we are out here.

]]> By: Jenna Hatfield http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/involving-the-father-a-benefit-to-all/comment-page-1#comment-677 Jenna Hatfield Tue, 30 Jan 2007 16:01:17 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/01/30/involving-the-father-a-benefit-to-all#comment-677 Jan, I'd agree with you which is why I encouraged expectant mothers to realize that if an agency (or attorney or WHATEVER, for that matter) is avoiding the subject or purposely discouraging the mother to involve the father... to look for another agency. Ethical ones that involve fathers do exist. Unfortunately, they're not in the majority. Bummer. Jan, I’d agree with you which is why I encouraged expectant mothers to realize that if an agency (or attorney or WHATEVER, for that matter) is avoiding the subject or purposely discouraging the mother to involve the father… to look for another agency. Ethical ones that involve fathers do exist. Unfortunately, they’re not in the majority. Bummer.

]]> By: Jan Baker http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/involving-the-father-a-benefit-to-all/comment-page-1#comment-678 Jan Baker Tue, 30 Jan 2007 15:37:00 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/01/30/involving-the-father-a-benefit-to-all#comment-678 Just a wild guess, but I think agencies/lawyers intentionally like having to worry about one less person (the dad) who might want to thwart the idea of adoption. Just a wild guess, but I think agencies/lawyers intentionally like having to worry about one less person (the dad) who might want to thwart the idea of adoption.

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