January 21st, 2007
Posted By: Jan Baker

A recent post mentioned a study that talked about impulse control issues among birth parents.(Granted, the study did not say that all birth parents have impulse control issues.) I wonder if the implication was that most birth mothers become pregnant because they are irresponsible and cannot control themselves.

I cannot agree that is always the case. For some women, all it might take could be one act of unprotected sex for a pregnancy to occur. And yes, birth control fails as well. When some adoptive parents suggest that unplanned pregnancies mostly occurs from irresponsible impulsive behavior, I am not certain that I accept that theory. When using impulsivity as a negative trait generally attributed to birth mothers, my antenna rises.

Click Here to Get Started

Over half the pregnancies in the United States are unplanned according to government statistics. Does that mean we have a majority population of careless impulsive women? Or, does it indicate that getting pregnant during your fertile years is not unusual or always an indication of careless behavior?

Not all women who do not get pregnant during their fertile years are celibate. Is it really fair to point fingers and say that most adopted children come from birth parents with impulse issues? To me, it is merely another attempt to paint birth mothers as bad women for getting pregnant. Sex is a natural and normal human act.

Sometimes for women who desperately want to get pregnant and cannot, I can imagine it must be frustrating and tempting to judge women who get pregnant unintentionally and give birth easily. However, it really is unfair to always harshly judge women for unplanned pregnancies.

If unplanned pregnancies become a pattern for a woman, then maybe impulse or even common sense issues may exist. However, to brand a woman irresponsible for one unplanned pregnancy may be jumping the gun. Not every unplanned pregnancy results from an one-night stand or unprotected sex, and it is unfair to insinuate otherwise.

5 Responses to “Birth Parents and Impulse Control Issues”

  1. thomasina says:

    I agree. I challenge the validity of that study.

  2. Theresa says:

    The children that we have adopted, who were first our foster children, ALL have parents with impulse control problems.

    I seriously doubt that ALL children in foster care have parents with impulse control problems.

    But, even with our “high percentage”, I figure that the impulse control problems likely came into play with their addictions or their inability to maintain home or employment — but think it’s absurd to assume that the pregnancies are a result of the impulsivity…that’s just a strange assumption….

  3. Impulse control. A problem with it? I WISH. I’m this horrible, over-analytical freak who can’t make a decision without first beating it with a big stick until… well, you get my point.

    Sorry. I fall into the category of no addictions, no promiscuity and no real interesting imulsive actions to speak of.

    I hate being painted as something negative. Blah blah blah.

  4. JudyK says:

    I would love to be pointed to that study. Some studies use such a small number of participants that they can hardly be labelled “scientific” — the cause of books such as “How To Lie With Statistics,” itself outdated, but does bring up an interesting point. :)

    I would hazard a guess that a lot of people have impulse control issues and not all of them are birth mothers. Likewise, a lot of birth mothers don’t have impulse control issues, but there are a small percentage who do.

    My main guess is that the author of the study already had a picture of birth mothers in mind and somehow the study verified that. Imagine. (oops, sorry, my snarkiness is showing).

  5. Jan Baker says:

    “(oops, sorry, my snarkiness is showing).” – Ah, Judy, you made me laugh with that comment. I have to guard against my snarkiness surfacing often as well!

    Aren’t children by virtue of their very being somewhat prone to being impulsive? Isn’t that part of being a kid? Learning to control some impulses?

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.