So often when I'm arguing ethical adoption, reform and the prevailing issues behind those two things, I hear something alone these lines:

Single parenting is widely accepted today. Mothers are no longer stigmatized by society to place their babies. That's all a myth.

I argue that their belief that this is all a myth is, in fact, a myth. But they never believe me. They say things like, "Look how far we've come!" And I say, "It's not far enough." And they continue to argue that we have made so much progress. That mothers who choose to parent their children at young ages are no longer stigmatized and stereotyped. They tune me out. They ignore me.

And then I read the stuff that the comments of this post are made of and I realize that I'm right and they're wrong. And I find no joy in being right.

In short, Toys R Us denied a "grandparent discount" to a grandmother who was under the age of 50. The blogger who posted the story asked whether or not Toys R Us had a "right" to do so or whether it was discriminatory towards young grandparents. I had no idea the comments would get as ugly as they did. But, oh, they got ugly.

As evidenced by this gem.

I'm 40, so I suppose math-wise I could be a grandparent right now. Instead, I have an 8 and 10 year old. Thank you, God, and thank you birth control!
It is so ghetto/white trash to be a great grandmama in one's 50s. eesh!

Followed by another gem!

In the 50's? That is ridiculous to say that but definitely in the 40s it is true. a 50 year old could have had a kid at 25 and that child had one at 25.... No problems there... in mid to low 40s and younger....that is "ghetto/white trash"

I'm glad that anyone who is 30-59 and already a grandparent is white trash. And not just any white trash. GHETTO white trash. Uh, what?

And this!

Maybe people should stop having kids at 13 and stop letting their kids get knocked up at 12, then grandparents wouldn't be so young these days and you could use you're stupid coupon!!

And even this!

If you're so hard up for a stupid coupon, perhaps you should have spent your youth pursuing an education instead of birthin those babies? You wear your foolishness (and obviously your chidren's foolishness) like a badge of honor. You should be embarrassed to be a 35-year old grandma.

I'm hoping some of these are removed. The ones that launch into long diatribes about the stupidity and free-loading of young grandparents (logic is lost on me, too) serve no purpose but to continue to spread of hatred.

I got very angry reading through these posts. My Mother was 19 when I was born. Yes, technically a teenager. However, she is also a very successful CPA with multiple degrees. My Father was 21 when I was born and has lived a very successful life as well. I was 24 and 26 when the boys were born, which is what the world views as their first grandchildren, thus making my parents still younger than 50. If I would have parented my firstborn, born when I was 22, they would have been younger first time grandparents. But naysayers tell me that there is no social stigma against young, unwed parents. None at all.

I bet this commenter would disagree with those naysayers:

It should be noted that while younger grandparents - those under the age of fifty - may not have proven tremendously prudent in their life choices. However, discounts such as these need to be unilateral in always in good faith. By excluded grandparents - that did not themselves, nor did these offsprings prove to be wise enough to exercise discretion in the art of responsible parenting - it shows all consumers that retail is biased towards some groups. All grandchildren need toys - particularly those visiting their forty - something grandparents in the mobile park....go figure.

Classy, right? This one is even better!

I think its great,good job punishing the parents who raised little hos [sic] who have kids to [sic] young...someone has to point out if your [sic] a young grandparent you raised your child like [expletive] and dont diserve [sic] to save more money they the [? sic] welfare you and your single ho daughter get

Apparently this guy had less education than my "ho" of a mother.

Nope. No stigma people. It doesn't exist! Go ahead! Keep your baby! You'll be treated with respect, admiration and compassion. And, to boot, your own parents will as well!

We have a long way to go as a society. A long, long way to go. And reading through judgmental words like these, I'm feeling quite discouraged today. There's no point in arguing with such nonsense. I'll just be labeled a derogatory slang word. As will my Mama which is, by the way, an oh-so-classy way to debate a point. And I don't have the time or energy for such a ridiculous way to think.

What have you to say?


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