January 18th, 2012
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2 hearts“I want it all, I want it right now.” A line from a popular movie soundtrack–I have decided to write on the topic of depression. Society, in general, has an “I want it now” mentality.

There is a lot one could say about this, on many topics, and situations–Let’s look at it from where I am today…

You know what I want? I want to stand up and proudly say who I am. I don’t want to sugar coat my life’s feelings and experiences, but I also want a positive outlook, more then that of a survivor. I was born to thrive.

As a birthparent, I want acceptance and as a woman, I want unconditional love and friendship–no flakes accepted into my life.


I hate dishonesty. Lets be open and allow the thoughts we have on adoption, on life in general to be shared. We were not made to hide behind a computer screen, but to interact with people and create relationships that make this world a place worth being  a part of.

In the same aspect, lets step out of the talking role, and just listen. The same struggles an adoptive parent may have may be something a birth parent struggles with. It’s called common ground and indifference is the enemy.

I am in a challenging mood, meaning I am seeking feedback and honesty on my facebook page. Some days I post lame things, but today I challenged my friends with a status that on any other day would make me go hide in a closet–

“What is one thing you as a birth-parent want more then anything else that is not material in relation to your adoption experience and role as a birth-parent?”

One friend wrote “Love” myself, “acceptance” and a friend said this moving piece.

“I just want my son to know that I love him more then anything else in this world & I would do anything for him.I hope as he gets older he knows that.”

She is going to see her bio-son tonight which is so awesome, and I honestly think and believe that he will.

Our love was not squandered when we chose adoption. It was planted and grows with each milestone and first step, tooth, etc. It grows with each moment of every day.

As I leave off today to face the day, and everything it holds, I hope you find what you really truly want and are able to have an open and honest dialog with someone you need to.

Lots of Love for all my readers,

Nellie J.

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3 Responses to “I Want It All”

  1. Nellie says:

    For those who are reading, It didn’t cover depression as much but i hope it was of help anyways :)

  2. Lisa says:

    My son is being adopted. I have TPR hearing in March of this year. My parental rights have to be terminated in order for my son to be adopted. I am sooo sad about this and can’t deal with it too well. Any advice?? PLEASE

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