I told myself I wasn't going to post about Madonna's recent adoption. After an intelligent conversation with some various triad members, we fell back on this thought process: We blame the media at every other venture for portraying adoption in a poor light and, often times, getting the story completely wrong. So, suddenly, why was every believing the media this time around? Is it because we wanted to believe the worst? I chalked it up to a media-feeding-frenzy and stayed out of discussion.

Then this little blurb showed up in my inbox via Google Alerts and, well, I cried.

"If we were told that she wants to take the baby as her own we could not have consented because I see no reason why I should give away my son," he said.

Seriously, I cried. Many other firstparents will understand how devastating those words are, coming from a Father who just lost his child. Even if he did understand the papers (which reading this and other articles does make me doubt but, again, media could be trying to create something from nothing) he is obviously, at this point, regretting his decision. It's heartbreaking and maddening.

If, in fact, this Father was wronged in such a manner, my blood will boil. I don't understand, on any core level, why we need to deceive those who have less knowledge than we do on a particular subject.

My personal adoption example? My agency touted open adoption until they were blue in the face. "On-going contact! You'll get to see your child! YAY OPEN ADOPTION!" It wasn't until a month after the Termination of Parental Rights was signed that I found out, via the internet with no help from the agency, that open adoptions in our state were not, in any way, legally binding. To say that I was mad is an understatement. (Actually, this is one thing that I still harbor anger and resentment over. I've forgiven a lot of people. I can't seem to let this one go.)

If this Father was not told informed, in a way that was coherent, truthful and factual, that his child would not be simply returned to him after Madonna raised and educated him... well, something, somewhere went absolutely, 100% wrong.

And, even still, though something went horribly wrong, this Father sounds like every single birth parent I've ever seen speak on a similar issue of loss.

However, the family have made it clear that they do not want David to return to the orphanage. "We are still thankful Madonna has rescued him from poverty and disease; we pray for the good Lord to keep blessing her for her benevolence," said Banda.

No matter how much he was lied to or tricked, he understands that his child is now in line to receive a life that people only dream about in their wackiest and craziest of dreams. He doesn't want to deny his Son that privilege. I've been there and thought these things. It didn't make the loss hurt any less.

My heart breaks for this Father and his family tonight. He won't read these words. He won't know that somewhere, across an ocean, a Mother understands his pain, his loss. He won't know the tears that streak my cheeks. He won't know that he is not alone. My heart is broken. Broken.

Photo credit from here.