I read the title of this post on a forum thread, looked at the user name and thought to myself, "Yes you did. What are you talking about?" So, curiously, I clicked into the thread and began reading. Like the original author, my own wheels of thought began to turn. And yes, it's time to play the semantics game again! I know you're excited!

There are many things said about the action of relinquishment. I personally do not ever use "gave up my baby." Many people have dubbed that to be an archaic term. In recent years "gave up" has been replaced with "placed my baby" in hopes of showing a process instead of just a decision based on a whim. "Relinquished my baby" has also been a widely accepted phrase as it is more technical than personal. Other words like entrusted and shared are often too vague for the general public but used by various families.

I've used them all (except, as I said, gave up). I use a few interchangeably on this blog. I had found a general peace with "placed my baby" and "relinquished my baby." There was always an undercurrent of, "Something isn't quite right, but, eh, this is the best that I've got."

Until I read this mother's post. And she wrote this line, in bold. And my own light switch went on as well.

I relinquished my parental rights and consented to the adoption.

Ah. Well, there you have it. The thing that has been bugging me for over four years now. I didn't "give up" a child. I didn't give her to someone else to raise. I never owned her to give her. Instead, I relinquished my rights and consented to the adoption.

I like it.

And yes, if we want to play semantics, "to relinquish" does mean, in one definition, "to let go" which could mean, in essence, to let go of a human. And yet, I'm pretty sure if you do a small survey of first parents, you will find a large majority who may have signed a paper but never "let go" of the child held in their heart.

Anyway, I'm not saying that the other phrases are wrong. I'm just offering up this different way of talking about the act of relinquishment for my readers. I think I may start incorporating this in with some of my writing.

So, kudos to the original poster on this thread! Way to think outside the box!

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For more on birth/first parents and language, read these posts.

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Photo Credit: Something Lighter by gmonster25.