What would you do in order to find your relinquished child? How far would you go? What lengths would you go to? Is anything off limits? What takes you out of your own personal comfort zone? Do you consider your placed child's comfort zone when making that decision? These are all questions that a birth parent must consider when choosing to begin a search.

Obviously, each answer will be different. Each mother will have her own personal boundaries. Each mother will view what is and is not appropriate in a different manner. Each mother will go about her search in a different way, possibly similar in ways to another but unique because of the perspectives and experiences she brings to the table.

All of this was brought to mind as I read an article about a mother who has continued to search for her relinquished daughter in the same manner every year for the past seven or eight years. The story hails out of Canada and comes from the tiny print at the back of a newspaper. In the "Celebration" section read this little tear-jerker:

To My
Strawberry Blonde
Birth Daughter

AUG. 6, 1958
GRACE HOSP., VAN., BC
How Are You?

Phyllis (Phone Number; Click here to read article for phone number)

Those who worked at the paper thought that, perhaps, a story was waiting in the wings. The phone number was called. The story unraveled. The mother, Phyllis, had been posting the same ad, every year, for almost a decade. Her daughter, who turned 49 this year, had been born when Phyllis was in her late teens. As was common in the day, she went to a maternity home and then relinquished her child for adoption. She was in no way prepared for the grief and loss and had no post-placement emotional support.

She eventually, after a failed marriage, moved away from the area, found love and had two children, both of whom are aware of their half-sister. As she began trying to search, she ran into obstacles presented by British Columbia's system of adoption. After applying for information once, she was given the adoptive parents' names but not an address. She now posts a message, on her daughter's birthday, in the newspaper.

When asked if she had received any calls this year, she replied that she had not. Just the call from the journalist. Sad, no?

While it seems mostly unsuccessful, it's one of the more intriguing attempts at searching I have ever heard of over the years. It's touching, to me, that she's continued to leave a message each year. I do question why she hasn't furthered her search for the adoptive family. Perhaps she doesn't want to bother the parents or doesn't have the money for a private investigator. All the same, I hope she cut out the note each year and saved them for her daughter. I know I don't always read the celebration notes in our newspaper but, then again, I don't think anyone would be posting anything on my birthday. (Or, they better not!)

I hope this mother finds some answers someday. It would be a unique reunion story if that ad was the reason they were reunited, wouldn't it?

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For more, read:

1. A Birth Father and His Daughter Reunite.

2. Sperm Donor Reunion.

3. Reunion Visits.

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