Although Mothers' Day and birthdays are the toughest days for birthparents, no holidays are easy for birth parents, including Easter. Jenna wrote a terrific post about how to celebrate Easter, and included some great suggestions for parents of closed adoptions as well. I loved her ideas to celebrate our children, if not with them, making gestures in their honor.

I dissected my feelings and thoughts to try to figure out why holidays are often difficult for birth parents. Today was Easter, a perfect example of a less significant holiday, but still one that can be painful at times for birth parents. The conclusion that I reached about why holidays plague birth parents so gravely is that they tend to remind us of what we miss or have missed. First mothers in open adoptions experience some holidays with their children, but I imagine there is a keen sense of missing them on other holidays.

Holidays are special family days for most of us, and the best part of family celebrations are the fun times with children. I have never spent Easter with my son, seen him hunt for Easter eggs or had his picture taken with a giant Easter Bunny. At his age, those days are long gone. Although I suppose I could send him an Easter basket, I do not think he would appreciate one!

During holidays, I am generally able to focus on enjoying the day and not thinking about all those missed times with my son. At home, it is easier to do that. Since reunion, I have jabs at my heart though when I see happy families together. Near holidays it is worse.

Holidays are probably harder I imagine for younger birth moms whose children are still young enough to be immersed in all the various activities that surround holidays. No matter the situation, whether an adoption is closed or open, holidays for birth parents are often bittersweet at best.

Today, I am rejoicing though. To my great satisfaction, I heard from all three of my children, including my long-lost son who is back in my life now. Any day that I talk to him, hear him happy and chatting about his perfect day is a good day for me. The sound of his laughter is like gold to me. There is nothing better.


Another Birth/First Mom post on Easter:

Coley's Post

Adoptive Moms found Easter tough too:

Theresa's Post

Deb's Post

It seems holidays can be challenging for all moms of adoption!