One of the many difficult tasks that birth parents face is telling other people in their life about the adoption. In today's more enlightened society and with more open adoptions, women of today are less secretive about their relinquished children.

However, even today, telling others is not an easy task. Revealing an adoption does not occur only immediately after an adoption either. You will be facing the issue of when to tell others about your child for the rest of your life. Most birth/first mothers tell at least some friends and family. Even those discussions with people that you know and trust can be awkward and challenging.

However, in addition to friends and family, you also are eventually faced with telling boyfriends and/or husbands. How soon after you begin dating a new person in your life do you tell them? Will they handle the news well or prove to you that they are not worth being with? What about telling the families of a spouse?

Sometimes you might need or want to tell an employer or someone that you work with about your child's adoption. Heather wrote a terrific blog about Ignorance About Birthparents in the Workplace. This can be particularly difficult as depending on reactions, your career may be affected. I know of one birth mother whose banker husband never received another raise after she "came out" as a birth mother.

If subsequent children are born to you, what do you tell people when they ask if a child is your first? Brenda Romanchik helps with this issue in Welcoming New Babies in a Open Adoption. Do you lie or tell them that you placed a child for adoption. Then, there is the doctor's office to deal with. Do you acknowledge the adoption, or pretend that you have no other children? How will you feel telling your doctor and his office about the adoption?

Will telling the world about this most private decision be hurtful to you? Obviously, you do not need to blab to everyone, but people close to you and family should know about your relinquished child. Some people will judge you harshly and not understand your decision. This is one of several difficult issues you will face.