It is safe to say that most of the difficult issues that birth parents generally face are not addressed at all or in much detail prior to placing a baby for adoption. Therefore, I thought a series detailing many of the difficult issues was in order. In this post I will list some of the issues that I intend to address. The list may grow as I explore the possibilities.

Here is what I intend to cover in the first few posts in this series, in no particular order:

1) Telling the Rest of the World - I wonder if anyone ever is told that this can be a difficult issue for birth parents? I seriously doubt that more than a brief mention is made.

2) Telling Children or Grandchildren - Except for birth parents who have other children at the time of relinquishment, I also believe that little attention is directed to this issue. Has anyone ever been reminded that someday they might face telling grandchildren about their adoption decision?

3) Dealing With Self Esteem After Placement - Again, this is one of those issues that is rarely mentioned pre-adoption. It is often a significant issue, yet rarely addressed before a relinquishment.

4) Healing and Recovery - Learning How to Feel Whole Again - Many believe that after losing a child to adoption you can never feel completely whole again. Yet, there are ways to heal, recover and not be defeated and destroyed after relinquishing a child to adoption.

5) What the Loss Really Feels Like Later on - 2 months, 2 years or 2 decades later. Before a placement, often the only mention of loss is generally one which indicates that your loss will diminish as time passes. Sometimes this is true, but often as the years go by, feelings build up and the sense of loss intensifies.

6) Delayed Discoveries - No one talks about the fact that no matter how well you might initially deal with relinquishment, that a moment of awakening might occur decades down the road.

7) The Necessity of Adequate Grieving - At least there is now some acknowledgement that grieving is necessary and helpful. Yet we still rarely offer useful information about how to grieve.