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I love happy reunion stories. I really do! We hear, so frequently, the stories that go wrong. This is partly due to the fact that when people have a good experience, they’ll likely tell one or two people but when people have a bad experience, that number jumps to the double digits. We’re more likely to rant and rave than we are to applaud. Human nature. This is only further compounded by the fact that the mainstream media isn’t all that quick to report the good news. Stories of happy reunion don’t fall under the “if it bleeds, it leads” motto of newsrooms everywhere.
And so, this particular reunion story made me smile. How could it not? This little gem of a quote gives birth parents, adoptees and even adoptive families hope for the future.
“I now feel like a complete person,” said Robinson, the newest Cañon City Council member. “It’s been such a blessing to just get to know them.”
Oh, when adoptees talk about feeling complete and refer to the time spent with their birth families as a blessing, well, I kind of melt into puddles of goo. What parent, birth or adoptive, doesn’t want for their child to feel complete? Some might argue right here that the child “should have” felt complete with his adoptive family. Truth is, as an adult, what made you feel complete? The answer will differ for everyone. If this adult feels complete with the addition of his birth family, that’s swell. My point is not based on the sole addition of the birth family but the completeness in general. We should all have such high hopes for our children!
While this adoptee’s parents, due to illness and death, never got to know about the reunion, my guess is that they would be pleased. Why? Their grandchildren have grandparents even in their absence. It is my belief that grandparents are so important in our children’s lives so this made my heart warm even more.
The adult adoptee does bring up the question of nature versus nurture, however, and I’d like to touch on it briefly.
“I now know it is not the context that forms you,” he said, believing that nature wins out in the age-old “nature vs. nurture” battle.
He then refers to some nervous movement that he and his brothers share along with some musical humming. I found this interesting. I know many people, adoptive and birth parents alike, who would say, “AUGH! I hope nurture wins out! I don’t want them to be ANYTHING like them/me.” However, this adult adoptee wasn’t referring to lifetime achievements. He mentioned little things. And I wonder how many other adoptees and birth families have found this to be true as well. As I’m still watching my daughter grow, I don’t know for sure what she will “inherit” from me though I’m seeing bits and pieces of me emerge in her from time to time. And yet, as her Mom and I are similar in thought and deed, I discount myself a lot and give her the credit for raising her so awesomely. And, so, this quote brings me back to the wonder part of it all.
Anyway, nature versus nurture aside, this was a great little article to kick off your weekend with a smile. (It is Friday, right? I’ve been so confused all week.) If only all reunions went so smoothly (and were covered by the news).
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For more on reunion, read these posts.
I feel lucky enough to know my son’s birthmother so well, that I do see a lot of her mannerisms in him. And, yes, we share these with her too–it is that fondness that we all have in each other that makes it such a joy to share everything about him. He is a combination of us all–and if I can gloat just a little bit–he is a really amazing little being!!
Our adoption reunion is shaping up to be a Hallmark movie! Twenty-six years ago, my husband put his first born son up for adoption. He set it up, or so he thought, so that the boy would be able to find him on his 18th birthday. That passed, no word. We though maybe we would hear from him on his 21st birthday, still no word. I offered to try to find out some information, just enough so that my husband would know that his son had great parents who’d given him a great life. He said no, the choice was not his to make.
His birth son found him via the internet on May 14th. He was an only child so he’s delighted to learn that he’s got siblings and our two children are delighted to have a big brother. He’s getting married this summer and his fiance encouraged him to find his birth parents. I’m hopeful that the connection it seemed they had upon meeting for the first time, will grow into a relationship.
The bottom line is that it’s all up to his son how this plays out. He’s already got parents, he doesn’t need a dad, but we’re hoping that he’ll settle for a loving, big brother type!
We could use some help with the language.My husband doesn’t know how to introduce him!