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Much like I just wrote about the need for ground up reform in places like Asia, there are people in our country striving to help foster change in positive ways. While some are busy working with legistlation (I’ll tell you a very important story next week!), there are others who are taking their initiatives to a personal, one-on-one level. In fact, a first mother has recently been brainstorming an idea and is beginning to move forward with it. I couldn’t love the idea more if I tried!
Coco initially started with an idea of having a group of mothers (and fathers) who have relinquished children mentoring pregnant women (and I would suspect expectant fathers if they were involved) to help them find all of the information available to them as opposed to having them rely on agencies which have a known conflict of interest. So many mothers could have and should have parented had they been informed of any of the multitudes of assistance available to them; assistance which they were not informed of at the time. Furthermore, for those that are dead set on adoption, even after being thoroughly informed of issues like grief and loss, help would be given to find ethical agencies and legitimate post-reliquishment counseling.
But Coco felt stumped on how to start something “big” like this; she didn’t understand the beginnings of non-profit status and didn’t have a bank account overflowing with cash to get it off the ground. Never mind that for the time being. Online support networks exist and this one is moving forward while the ins and outs of other stuff are figured out behind the scenes. And there’s a name!
Parents First. (See the play on the term first parents? She’s a smart one, that Coco.) The idea has been scaled back to start with in hopes of becoming larger. Basically, it will be a contact list of those willing to be in direct (e-mail, phone, in person) contact with an expectant parent/family either in their area or in an area of their prior expertise to help them make the most informed decision possible.
And currently, that’s where the help of our readers comes in. The group is needing to gather together a list state and other local assistance resources and programs available to expectant families. (I’m sure that truly ethical adoption agencies are also needed for those who do relinquish, so if you have an ethical experience, please pass it on.) I’ve already passed on the information for Ohio’s Department of Job and Family Services as well as the state’s WIC program. Do you know of something else from your state that can help mothers and fathers make fully informed decisions? Help them get on their feet? Show them that they can parent? A therapist/counselor who has experience in counseling expectant parents in their decision making process? A therapist/counselor who has actual experience with adoption/open adoption/birth parents that could be a reliable contact for post-relinquishment counseling? The list goes on. You know what we’re seeking and needing.
Please feel free to comment here (and I’ll forward information on to CoCo via e-mail), on CoCo’s most recent post about the program, or e-mail me at firstparentblogger@adoptionmail.com . This is another example of how you can start at the bottom of an issue in need of reform and make a change. Information is key to making any life-altering decision. Adoption should always involve informed consent but, sadly, it doesn’t always work that way. Let’s help those who will come in the future.
(PS – If you’re unfamiliar with CoCo’s blog, which is a newer first mom blog, I suggest adding it to your RSS readers or daily blog trek. She’s a great mom with some great outlooks!)
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For more on reform, check out:
1. Start Reform from the Ground Up.
2. A Petition for Birth Parents.
3. Encouraging Trends in Adoption by Jan Baker.
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