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As birth parents, we often treasure any picture of our relinquished children that is sent our way. Whether it is from our child’s adoptive parents as they grow or from our adult child as we enter reunion, those pictures are a glimpse into our own eyes. Sometimes we frame them. Sometimes we put them on our fridge. Sometimes we put them away for safe keeping. But we always treasure those photos.
And so I encourage you to make one of your goals for 2009 to send pictures of yourself to your child.
When I started sending pictures in the letters I was sending the Munchkin last year, I was only including pictures of the boys. First of all, I take nearly 1000 photos per month and 99% of those are of the boys. But the truth is that pictures of me do exist. I just wasn’t sending them to her. I don’t particularly know why.
Was it a subconscious thing? Did I not want her to see how happy I am in my life? Or was I simply too vain to send pictures that weren’t all that flattering? Or am I so caught up in motherhood that I don’t even think of myself in situations like these? Whatever the case, I was encouraged to include myself in the pictures that I sent to her.
Truth be told, I do want her to know that I am a happy person. I don’t want her to think of me as a drag. And I do want her to know that she gets her eyes from me. I know how I search her photos when I see them for any resemblance. And I want her to have the ability to do the same thing when and if she chooses.
All that said, I encourage you to send photos of yourself to your relinquished child this year. One a month would be just right. Put them in with the letter you are sending. You can send older pictures if you wish but I challenge you to take one new picture a month and send it along. If anything, you’ll have some new photos of yourself. And if your life is anything like mine, pictures of yourself are a rarity.
Happy photo snapping!
