A year ago today, Nicholas still wasn't quite born. I was deep in the throes of late labor. Nicholas was born at 6:39 in the evening after fourteen hours and thirty-nine minutes of back labor. A year ago today, D was standing by the phone and updating my personal blog with labor progression. She was the first one who wasn't at the hospital to have access to pictures.

What strikes me most about this birthday, other than the fact that I am emotionally crushed that my Son is already a whole year old, is that Nicholas and the Munchkin are together. You don't expect things like this when you place a child for adoption. You expect to celebrate things like birthdays minus a child. Yet, she's here. She's wonked Nicholas over the head, pushed him over and kicked him once today. He's grabbed a handful (or two) of hair. And still, she's held his hand and helped him walk. She hugged him and crawled circles around him for fun. She's sat with him and knocked over towers of blocks, which both of them find absolutely amusing.

We've taken pictures. (And the AP photographer just took about two hundred.) We've taken naps. We've taken time to read books. We've sat. We've stood. We've walked. We've played peek-a-boo. We've done things that every other family does on a first birthday with other siblings in the house. While it feels wonderful and, strangely, normal, I still can't shake that unfortunate feeling that come Tuesday, the normalacy ceases and we go back to our respective areas of the country.

But for today, for my son's first birthday, we are all together. We are family. And we are freaking happy today, folks. We are so very blessed.