One of the most annoying aspects of adoption agency ads is the statement that they can find “the perfect family for your baby.” To begin with, this implies that a baby’s family of birth is not the perfect family for it. Who better to raise a baby that people who are “like” that baby when and if they are willing and able to parent? Shouldn't they be the best family to raise their own child when possible?

Apparently, adoption agencies believe the old theory that sometimes God does put babies in the wrong tummies. The “perfect” family is better found by an adoption agency is the way this theory goes. Does that imply that adoption agencies are so divinely wise that they have the ability to help a women discover the perfect family if and when there has been a mistake made and a baby has ended up in the “wrong tummy?”

How totally revolting is the presumption that an adoption agency knows more about what the perfect family is that the forces that allowed a woman to become pregnant? Why do we even buy the theory that there is a perfect family for each child other?

You might say that by "perfect family," those ads mean the perfect family of those you have to choose from. That is not what comes across to pregnant women. The message that comes through loud and clear is that there IS a perfect family for your baby - that does not include you!

Besides do perfect families even exist? Look at parent profiles of waiting parents and check out how ideal all the families appear. There must be a check list of items to include. To appear perfect, you must have pets, take exciting vacations, have good jobs and a nice home.

Although not all profiles include those all those items, many do. Parent profiles are a marketing technique to sell yourself, right? Is the competition so fierce for babies and children that it is necessary to appear to be the "perfect" family?


Further Reading:


I Relinquished, Then I Kept, the Truth of Choosing.

Because There were Better Parents

Photo by Jan Baker 2007