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Ah, my eyes always spark when I see a story coming from my hometown, Memphis, Tennessee! You might remember the last story from Memphis was about the Ho family a Chinese couple who had just gotten back their daughter from a couple who were trying to adopt her. This story involves a father whose girlfriend chose adoption for their child without his consent.
When he appealed to the legal system for help, they told him to sign up with the putative father’s registry. He was then told to sit tight and wait. Although he signed up with the putative fathers’ registry, the adoption agency apparently failed to check the registry before proceeding with the adoption.
After waiting after he was told that he should, the father finds out that his child has been sent out of state and an adoption is underway. Seems as thoug he might not have been given proper legal advice from the juvenile court. He now says that he will fight the adoption.
The putative father registry is a rather peculiar idea to me, and does not entirely make too much sense to me. This case just cements my uncertainty about the value of these registries.
What a dilemma when one parent chooses the adoption option and the other wants to raise the child! I have mixed emotions about the whole scenario. My first thought is that it is better in most cases if a child remains with at least one parent. If a mother does not wish to parent, and the father does, it seems reasonable that he should get custody before strangers.
On the other hand, what if the woman has valid reasons for not wanting the father to parent? I suppose in that situation, a court needs to decide. As I said, my feelings are mixed. Don’t both parents have equal rights to their child? It is a situation fraught with complexities. Why would a woman want her child to go with strangers rather than to the child’s biological father? There are many unanswered questions in this story.
Here is an article about Unwed Fathers Preventing Your Infant Child From Being Adopted Without Your Consent.
Another article about birthfathers is Birthfathers the Forgotten Half of the Story.
Another pertinent article is the National Directory of Putative Father Registries Rights in Adoption.
Jan, a question. To reverse your example, what if the father has valid reasons not to want the mother to raise the child, shouldn’t that also go to court for resolution and not be settled on ‘Well, she’s the mother, of course she gets to parent the child’. I am thinking of a mom who is addicted to drugs and Dad knows it. Current practice would be for everyone to turn a blind eye until the child had obviously been neglected or damaged. Should moms be seen as automatically superior to dads? John
John, if a dad sees a mom addicted to drugs, he absolutely should not turn a blind eye. I don’t think a mom addicted to drugs should parent if there is a willing dad who is not. I don’t agree with the concept of waiting for something bad to happen either – but that probably is how our system currently works.
May need a post to answer your last question!